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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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I am a 23 year old female with the same issue (hence that's why I'm reading this) my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2years. He's sweet, kind, caring and sensitive (for a guy) just all around a great guy and love him very much. So anyhoo, we used to have sex all the time several times a week, now its maybe 2 times a month! I'm pretty horny for a women so now its always ME that intiates to have sex. And no I don't think he's cheating, and work and everything else is the same. So a women will naturally assume its HER and so self esteem goes down your confidence and your spirit. You feel unwanted, unloved, unsexy and overall....rejected. We've talked a couple times and everytime he says the same thing "its not you, its me", "I'm just not a horny guy". So what am I to think??! Is it ME? Is he losing his sexual desire for me?
March 25, 2010 - 12:20pmThis Comment
Are you getting fatter?
March 23, 2010 - 6:45pmThis Comment
I'm a man (24) and will explain some few things here:
March 23, 2010 - 1:03pmlife has changed dramatically sinse women have started demanding more and more decision making power - to the disadvantage of us men, upto a certain age.
See, during the teenage years and at school e.g. girls used to have everything boys had + the sexual power 89% of them posessed naturally.Our physical advantage didn't count because we were either competing against our mates or were doomed to tame ourselves. In fact todays society seems to suit girls.
They decide whom to be with, when and how to end a relationship and wheter to focus on study or live a life full of parties and multiple sexpartners and then marry a rich guy later. what they forget is that their physical attraction starts fading from the age of 23.
Women think they would always be wanted, desired and loved unconditionally because thats what they' ve experienced since birth. Men have always been rejected
unless they were lucky. But it was never in their power to fullfill their sexual needs when they were between about 14 to 28 years old till they get used to it and watch porn instead - frustrating years you can immagine especially when sex is so vital to a man's health compared to food.
By the time they finish school and start earning their own money things seem to change dramatically: all of a sudden the girls their age and younger start to have interest in them which sounds great at first but tastes bitter on the long run.
To put it in a nutshell men feel betrayed and cheated on before even starting a ralationship - anytime you ask a couple about the number of partners they had prior their partnership women often have had far more partners than their boyfriends had.
This alone makes men have the urge to make up leeway wheter they love their partner or not.
Further more men start to realize that women are just as horny as they (men) were when they were younger, women just had the opportunity to still their desires - just reading your posts alone is evident. Now guess who has the power of control now;
now that your reflexive sexual attraction has gone?
To be honest men look at women at their 30s differently and so do they look at them after a longer relationship regardless of age.
This Comment
I was looking for a man's point of view, and I found your post somewhat hepful, but also, a bit too general. Yes, men do develop their sexuality later than women, however, not all of them experience sexual rejection in their 20s and therefore do not have to deal with control issues later on. The fact that many men prefer to be with much younger women is widely known, however, it is becoming more and more common for women in their late 30s to 50s to date much younger men. One of the reasons for this might be the fact that women reach their sexual peak later than men do. Also, they take better care of themselves compared to a generation or two ago, and as a result of that, they are attractive long after they turn 23. I am 32 and I find that men approach me now much more than 5-10 years ago. Most of them are in their early to mid-20s, too.
March 27, 2010 - 9:07pmThis Comment
im having the same problem, and i feel like im so unwanted i love my boyfriend more than anything .. we started dating on halloween last year and we probley had sex 4-5 times a week sometimes mutiple times a day than i got pregnant and now we prob have sex once every 3 months i used to be VERY into sex i could have it multiple times a day but now i crave it i want it so bad. One week i tryed everyday for a week and it was like he rolled over and went to bed sometimes i cry myself to sleep because i feel so unwanted like im not sexy anymore or there is something wrong with me. i dont know what to do anymore.
March 23, 2010 - 12:15pmThis Comment
i even bought new sexy underwear & tryed my makeup difffernt to maybe attract him more .. i was NEVER told i was unattractive im not ugly so whats the problem.
March 23, 2010 - 12:18pmThis Comment
You women are so stupid! As long as i can remember women have always been complaining about men only wanting to sleep with them.Thus when you find someone who seems only interested in your personality during the first dates you consider him different from all other men and hence fall in love with him: You reap what you sow.
March 23, 2010 - 8:29amThis Comment
no, YOU are stupid for not actually reading what these women are saying. There are women in the world who moan that all men want is sex - but that is because all some men want IS sex! but not our men. our men all love us, they used to have sex with all the dam time and we were happy! We didnt fall in love with them because they didnt want sex, we fell in love with them because of who they are. it is THEM who have now seemingly lost their sex drive.
This is a problem for so many of us so dont you come on here acting like a complete tosser. you didnt have to come into this discussion. if your male which im guessing you are then it has absolutly nothing to do with you!!
and next time before you make stupid pigheaded comments, how about actually reading the posts?! there was sex in the beginning for all of us! none of us are even near the first few dates mark so dont be so god dam stupid and degrading.
March 29, 2010 - 7:01amThis Comment
hai do not go with him when he wants sex please avoid him&fight to make the fight makes intreting with u.
March 23, 2010 - 6:11amThis Comment
I'm so glad that women have this problem-I'm a male.
March 23, 2010 - 3:02amThis Comment