Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

my boyfriend started having sex with me again after a few months of it. A lot of woman recommend talking about it, but it always felt like i am pushing it on him if i talk about it and he would say that nothing was the matter and i still got no where, so i tried something else. I would recommend if you don't want to talk and face maybe a little rejection to try what i did. I normally dont like giving him head and it just bothers me to do so. he understood that so he never asked or pushed for it. but one night i decided to give it a shot for him, and he wasn't expecting it at all. im not sure if it was the joy of getting head, or if it was the gratefulness of not getting denied something he really enjoyed in bed. Try giving your man alittle something that he knows you wouldn't normally give to him for whatever reason, and maybe you get his sex drive going again.

you know what im 28 years old and i have the same problem i have been with my bf for 5 years and all of a sudden its like no sex bamm none completly stoped unless i ask and how sucky is that? me a lady has to as him the man for sex? go figure. but its true this does happen i have been throught the what if he is cheating to he has to have alot on his mind to never and i mean never want to have sex with me to maybe its because he is missing his granma that just passed but its been months now and still nothing he always tells me that we are fine he loves me he is still attracted to me because come on after so long what is a woman to do? i had to qsk i still do because nothing changes im not just going to throw myself at him and risk rejection like that it wold crush me bad with the fact that i do have low self esteem and all i wont do that but its been to long going on i want this to end i have told him we need to go to couples therapy and he has agreed so maybe try something like that but wish me luck and i will do he same for you just dont think you are alone im sure we are not the only one on this world wide web that have this huge problem and no i dont think we are stupid to stay....we love em.......right???????? right?

maybe you need to get to know each other again, For some reason I tend to think men don't love to talk about things, they usually just close off themselves once they hear: how do you "feel". Maybe you should try taking some exercise classes, and doing things for you that make you feel beautiful, and try and seperate a night where you too can go out and have fun, real fun! to dinner or dancing, and don't bring that up... don't force it, the more pressure the more you will push him away... let things happen on their own, and if not it might be medical.

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question and I am sorry about the mixed emotions you must be having. In any relationship, I would say if you think he/she is doing something behind your back, they probably are. Men have sex minds and when they stop having sex with you is a clear sign that something is wrong. Not necessarily that they are cheating all the time if they stop having sex, but it could be something else. Most men have one tracked minds.

Another ‘red flag’ is that you two have only been together for two months. Do you think he was more interested in what else you could bring into the bed with you? This is a tough situation and talking to him would be best. Try and ask him what is going on or if he was interested in something more (as in you with another woman).

Let us know what he says, could you keep us posted?

I'm in a similar situation, I'm 21 and I've been living a lesbian lifestyl since about 9th grade. I messed around with a boy in the beginning of high school and decided it wasn't for me. I've always been attractd to females, still am. This attracts a lot of guys curiosity bt haa I'm not biting, til now. I was extra drunk this past summer and slept with my manager, he caught feelings, I didn't. we hookd up a couple times after that but I lost interest. About 5mnths ago I made a friend, and I was attractd to a quality and the fact that he is well known and I enjoyd everytime we wud hang out. He is now my boyfriend. I stopd tlking to females. my choice, he said he doesn't mind me having relations with other females ..bt I only wana be with him. Its been two months that we've been official. And two in a half wks that we haven't had sex. Now I know I don't know much about pleasing a guy, I haven't had much expierience, bt in the beginning we were doin it everyday, now he doesn't even touch me. Hugs every now n thn, kisses at hello n goodbye, bt nothing else. I send him suggestive pictures and we've tlkd about the fact that I'm having to masterbate evryday, his response is I wrk too late so he's either asleep or too drunk already. I'm frustrated! He doesn't try in the mornings either, nothing! I'm almost positive there's someone else, and sometimes I think the only reason hez with me is cause I have my own place where he can stay and watch tv and eat up all my grocerys while I'm away at wrk the majority of the time. I feel ugly like he's just not into me, I don't understand it. Not to be conceited bt I get hit on all the time. I only want to be with him. I'm pretty sure of what I got to do, I'm just not quite ready to let go yet.

Hello All,
I just came out of a very painful 3 year relationship with a man that didn't want to have sex. It was like this from the very beginning of our relationship aside from the about 2 week period where the sex was often. We did have sex probably about three or four times a month though - due to my initiation and begging. He rejected me about 8 times out of 10. It was incredibly damaging to my self esteem. It made me feel so insecure and at the same time desperate for his love and attraction. I finally ended up cheating on him about a year ago. I cheated with an ex of mine and it happened about 5 times. My boyfriend found out and afterwards, the sex did become more frequent but he basically treated me like trash. He has now just left me for another woman and moved back to his home country. I am devastated. I put in so much effort trying to figure out what was going on with his lack of sex drive. I tried to take him to counseling. I wondered and researched about the possibility of him being gay or asexual. I researched it to death because he wouldn't just come out and say that he wasn't attracted to me. And I think now looking back, that he was never really into the relationship as much as I was. Please ladies, save yourself the heartbreak and when not only is he not sleeping with you but you just don't feel as loved as you want to - LEAVE. It is sooooo draining to stay in that even if it is comfortable. And it just gets harder and harder. So if you are not getting the love that you want, I advise everyone out there to avoid what I went through and leave!

Anon March 14, 4:13pm,

THIS is a really good comment, I think it´s more true than you would say...
If you think your boyfriend doesn´t use porn instead of you, try to find it out. I would be curious of the percentage of us, who find it true......pls, DO SO. Thnx

Wow I'm going through the same thing, I didn't think there were soo many other women out there like that. I always thought of it to be weird for a guy to not want to have a girll that actually wants to please him. I'm with him almost everyday, we go on dates, spend family time together on weekends...but haven't had sex in over a month. I've asked and asked but get nowhere. He will tell me we spend time together and I make myself sound slutty bu always wanting some, when I disagree because I don't just want some because I can clearly get it somewhere else if that were the case.. He pushes my hands away when I try to touch him, he's always tired, says he's stressed about $$, moving (which he doesn't really have to do but only doing it because the heat ..right now he only lives 5 min from me. I had gained weight recently like 10lbs, I've lost it all and some. I thought maybe it was that, but still nothing. I love him, but I do have trust issues with him for things he's lied about in the past. I've been with him for

im having the same problem he never wants to i ask him all the time if its me...he always says no. were closer and we get along better we have been together for 2 years and a half i feel like i have to beg and i hate it. i go out of my way to fool around and still nothing.....

Alison,
I still think that it's a little unusual that there are so many young women complaining of this problem. Sure, there are SOME men who are not very sexual and this changes throughout our lives, but the sheer number of ladies complaining of disinterest from their relatively young partners, coupled with pornography use, smells a bit suspicious to me.
The men I have known in my life at different times in my life, seem very driven by sex. In fact, in my current relationship, my man tells me that women will never understand how driven men are by sex. He talks about how much sex he and his friends would have, given the chance. He would have sex with me more than once a day if I would let him.
Now, he used to be a porn user and NEVER wanted sex with me as he was addicted to the porn. When he gave it up, he slowly gained more interest in me. He tells me, like many of the men in my life have, that when he used porn, the variety of women and ease of orgasm made it so that sex with a woman just seemed like work. Now he can't get enough of me.
Yes, men are tired and insecure and gassy (as you put it) sometimes, but in my experience(and I am no spring chicken and no virgin), a man will very often WANT to release stress by having sex or using porn.
And if he IS using porn, he probably will not want to bother going to the trouble of seducing his woman as the porn is easy, more varietal and doesn't require any stimulation.
This to me, is sad. I strongly urge women out there to start saying no to porn in any form in their lives and I bet they will end up having more sex. Either that or no boyfriend as Gen Y is more and more addicted to porn use. Whatever will happen to the human race!? LOL