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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Add a Comment1230 Comments
My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and i know he loves me but we haven't had sex for nearly a month! I also know he is def not cheating on me so please don't always think thats the reason. He's a good guy and wouldn't do that. His sex drive has never been brilliant but he's stressed out and tired coz of work. Stand by him but watch him closely (just in case).
January 31, 2010 - 3:02amThis Comment
try spicing things up a bit get off work early and suprize him by doing somthing different it worked for me!
January 31, 2010 - 1:23amThis Comment
i am going throught the same thing. my boyfriend and i have been together for over 5 years and we have 2 kids together. we used to do it all the time sometimes several times in a day, but now its just once or twice a month. i don't even ask anymore. it does make it hard when you aren't getting what you need at home. but the only thing i can say is observe the whole picture not just the surface of things. (and visit a boutique for the hard times, lol) if he really loves you and you tell him eventually he will come around or at least tell you why things aren't spicy anymore. if not ......
January 30, 2010 - 3:49amThis Comment
Erm....I'm not joking when I say this, unless there's really a reason like he can't get it up, then he's either definitely gettin it elsewhere (check for signs of cheating online), or like me his sexuality is an issue. Sorry if this is blunt.
January 29, 2010 - 6:21pmThis Comment
ive got the same problem but we have a six month old baby, its been ever since he was born he doesnt seem to want sex with me. all i can say is stick with it if u truely love him thats what im doin its really hard though, good luck x
January 26, 2010 - 6:18amThis Comment
Have you spoken with your partner about your concerns? Having an infant, as you know, is a life-changing event, and he may be going through all kinds of emotions that he has not reconciled with yet.
In my experience, it really can take men longer to "absorb" being a father, as women who have been pregnant and deliver a healthy, full-term baby have essentially been mothers for 9 months previous during their pregnancy (watching what we eat, taking care of our bodies and growing baby).
January 31, 2010 - 7:40amThis Comment
Anonymous, thank you for responding. Most of the time in relationships when one person is suffering from depression, it will cause you to feel less of yourself and not really be an issue with the other person.
Seeking a little help to boost you out of depression may help the relationship all together. I know I try to do everything myself also, but sometimes we need a little help. Feeling better about yourself is the first step. Let us know if we can help.
January 24, 2010 - 11:33amThis Comment
no i am not being treated for my depression...i feel embarrassed to go to the doc for that so for the past rs i've just been trying to deal with it on my own.
January 24, 2010 - 10:43amThis Comment
Hi anonymous, thank you for sharing your story. Are you being treated for your depression?
January 23, 2010 - 11:50amThis Comment
i have the smae problem....my boyfriend doesnt want to have sex with me anymore....i think it's my fault...i've been with him goin on 3yrs and as of lately he treats me differently..i've been sufferening from depression for about 4 yrs now...and he knows this...his advice to me is to stop pittying myself..he doesn't quite understand that i cant really control it...so he get andgry when i feel sad or when i'm crying...and i think it has caused him to pull away from me...when makes me even more insecure...we didnt have sex in about 2mnths...i didnt bring it up...until a night we argued i told him that he doesnt love me as much as he did in the beginning and he doesnt want to be with me anyone...n he told me that he doesnt want sex from me and if i went away i'd be doing him a favor...i dunno my situation my be different but i'd stilll be very suspicious if i were you.
January 23, 2010 - 11:38amThis Comment