Love Vs. Lust: The Ongoing Tension

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There's a very funny visual cartoon image of a woman represented as a symbol similar to what you would see on the outside of a bathroom door with a heart on the left side of her chest where her actual vital organ would be, and, next to her, a symbol of a man represented as a man you would see on the outside of a men's bathroom with a heart located where his male genitalia would be. This, cartoon indicates, is the difference between men and women.

Love and lust perform a tango throughout our lives. Do we fall in love or do we honestly fall in lust and then call it love when we feel this attraction strongly? Or, conversely, do we actually just fall in love and make room for lust as a necessary part of a deeper connections?

Perhaps there's not a definitive answer to the love/lust conundrum but, suffice it say, they make for interesting bed fellows. Often, when partners are unfaithful, they chalk it up to that nasty scapegoat "lust." They claim to have no real, deep connection with the person; that it is purely sexual, a need, like thirst, like hunger, like thirsty, hot hunger.

This explanation does absolutely nothing to assuage the morose sense of betrayal and pain that accompanies such a disclosure, relegating this explanation to a bad excuse closet, hanging in there with other such lame and insensitive excuses as "the dog ate my homework" and "better late than never."

Yet it may be true. It is truly possible to be madly, crazy in love with someone and simply lust after another, want to roll around in bed with them, experience physical intimacy, and stay unattached.

For more about types of relationships, the following link is informative and helpful http://infidelity.lifetips.com/cat/63592/is-it-love/
For more about the genetic aspects of lust, love and attachment, this article is quite interesting: http://www.gnxp.com/MT2/archives/003734.html

Whatever the research may show, love and lust continue their torturous, exciting, confusing dance in our hearts and in our loins, prompting us ever further into the depths of our own needs and wants, our own longing for security, trust, peace and fulfillment.

By looking at your feelings closely, you may find the benefits of love outweighing the short term rush of lust; however, if there is a way to incorporate it into your trusting, loving relationship, you may have figured out how to dance with danger.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.