Trusting in Relationship.

Angaroo,

Sure, it's possible that you are too sensitive. When we are in our first real relationship, we often feel that way. BUT I do think that you have some cause for worry, due to the fact that he lied to you about the nude photos and the text about the hot models site. Those instances may be absolutely innocent, but on the other hand, they may be symptoms of a larger issue between the two of you.

You mention "all the weird things that were going on." Were there more?

If you talk to him about them now, you want to be careful when you bring them up. Do it in the middle of a normal conversation, like a Saturday lunch at a little sandwich shop or something. Ask it quietly, after saying "Can I ask you about something that's been bothering me for a while?" and don't accuse. Just say what happened, and see what he says. He may be angry, and defensive -- but listen to what he says. Or he may be fine talking about it, and you two could get this cleared up one way or the other.

But I'm a little confused. You say that you don't feel the same way about him, and that you're not sure you could marry him after all this, yet you don't want to end the relationship. Do you feel more strongly one way or the other?

Thank you for your respond!

There is a communication issue between me and him. He seems to tell me more things relate to his feeling than I tell him about mine, but I still feel like he doesn't tell me what I should be finding out, if that makes sense. I do feel comfortable when I am with him, but at some levels I am not.

Is it possible if I am just too sensitive and that there is nothing to worry about? I am just so afraid to get hurt!

I know that I can't control him, but I think, to him I am already that way, and it just sadden me because I don't want to be that way. I am only like that because I love him. I should have told him right when I found out about all the weird things that was going on. Do you think I should do that now?

He told me he wants to be with me, and we even talked about getting married, but now, I just don't feel as strong about the relationship anymore that I don't know if we can get married. I know we have a lot of differences and we both have to compromise, but sometimes I feel like those differences are just too big of an issue.

He still makes me laugh, and he still makes me feel like when we first started dating, I don't want to end this relationship.

Angaroo,

Here's the truth: You can't control him. You are getting more anxious and fearful because you know this and you have found out some disturbing things about him.

I think you are right to be concerned. There are some communication issues between you, aren't there? He's not completely honest with you, and you feel the need to keep many things to yourself. This can be super hard to deal with when you have worries about how things are going.

I have to tell you to trust your innermost instinct, your gut feeling. If you feel like there is something to worry about, there probably is. (And that can be the case even when you love him and he loves you.)

It might be really hard to fix this. His background is that he has had girlfriends cheat on him, so he's extra worried about you. Your background is that he's the first person you've been with, and you're scared to lose him. That makes you feel vulnerable instead of strong. It probably makes you feel needier than you used to. And the more you feel like everything revolves around him, the needier you get.

Does any of that sound true?

Can the two of you have an honest, open, frank conversation about all of this? (Including the things you know but haven't told him?)