Catherine Bach shares her experience as an Alzheimer's caregiver and interviews Leeza Gibbons, an Alzheimer's advocate, on the best ways a caregiver can care for him or herself.
Catherine Bach:
So I am here with my friend Leeza Gibbons and we are going to talk a little bit about Alzheimer’s and care giving because I know that by my personal experience with my father being his caregiver, his executor and his guardian and his daughter, how easy it was for me and I had the best of situations. You know, I had used to be in South Dakota where it’s a gentle forgiving place…
Leeza Gibbons:
Beautiful.
Catherine Bach:
. . . lots of help and beautiful and he grew up there and homesteaded there so we knew everybody so I had a lot of support but there are woman in all sorts of environments that don’t have that kind of help Leeza and I know that you are trying to help people and I just wondered if you had any tips for women that are dealing with that kind of situations because it was, for me, I know not only did I lose my father, I also lost my child, my child for seven years and…
Leeza Gibbons:
Yeah, the grieving takes such a toll on us, physically and emotionally. We call it, what you went through, what so many caregivers go through, compassion fatigue. When you are called upon to be this provider of hope and this person with the answers and you are giving the care and you are on the grounds. You are like right there in the frontline.
Catherine Bach:
Making huge decisions.
Leeza Gibbons:
Huge decisions.
Catherine Bach:
Operations, medications…
Leeza Gibbons:
Yep. It is like being a first responder. You know, when we think about those people that the house is burning down. The building is collapsing. They go towards the problem. Everybody else is running away and then the first responders, if you are the family first responder, you are the caregiver, you are running towards this situation that is like a house on fire and it’s against the clock and you’ve got so many aspects to deal with.
So, what we started with Leeza’s Place, which is a place for caregivers, to offer this oasis and this sense of community to say that you are not alone. So psychologically, you talk about the support you had, you know how isolating it is, especially if you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.
Catherine Bach:
To be able to talk to somebody else that had the same sort of situation would be incredible. Are you doing it online and doing it . . .?
Leeza Gibbons:
Yes, Leezasplace.org and we have eight communities across the country.
Catherine Bach:
We have to put you on EmpowHER.
Leeza Gibbons:
I hope you will.
Catherine Bach:
No, for sure.
Leeza Gibbons:
I hope you will. You know, we talk about knowing CPR to save a life but I’d like to say BBR and what that stands for is Breathe, Believe, Receive. So if, as caregivers, you can just, it sounds so basic but if you can take a breath, a purposeful breath, ten of them, you can lower your blood pressure, you can help with that digestion that is so bunched up and not working for caregivers. You can sort of just take a minute to reclaim where you are, which is a frantic treadmill.
So then believe. People talk about being an optimist but if you can frame your responsibility in a way that you say, “I know I can do it. I am capable. I am not going to fail. I will be enough,” then you are boosting your immune system. Optimists just have a better time warding off colds and flus and everything else. So believing is really an important part of it – as simple as it sounds.
Catherine Bach:
I agree. I tell my daughters, I have a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old that as we were talking about earlier, and I tell them every day, you are what you think. You are what you eat, but you really are what you think and so with all of these positive things that you do for yourself it’s not craziness, it’s simple.
Leeza Gibbons:
It’s an essential life support.
Catherine Bach:
It’s life support, yeah.
Leeza Gibbons:
It is and the ‘R’ in the BDR is receive. Emotional support, Catherine you are so right, when you receive, if you are a caregiver you are clinched up like this. So if you can open up to receive the help of others, I mean we talk about like the gifts of the universe but what that really means is just kind f nourishing yourself, mind, body, soul and spirit, and when people say to you, “How you are doing?” And you say, “Oh my gosh I am overwhelmed,” and they say, “What can I do to help?” I always encourage people to have a list honey and say, “You know what, here is what I need,” and that list can be anything from walk the dog, listen to me while I vent, cook dinner on Tuesday night.
Catherine Bach:
The laundry, babysit.
Leeza Gibbons:
Anything. Yeah, we fail to ask for help and knowing your limits for caregivers is really, really important to be able to connect with the community, which is what you are doing here which I think is so beautiful – that alone is probably the best shield we can have against this onslaught of all the stress-related disorders that hit us; sleeplessness, lack of libido, anxiety, eating disorders, high blood pressure – there’s so many things that…
Catherine Bach:
. . . stress-related.
Leeza Gibbons:
So many times the caregivers are sicker than the diagnosed loved ones.
Catherine Bach:
Well, you are doing things that you never thought you’d do before. I never thought I had have to hold my dad’s eye drops in his eyes. I had never thought I’d have to give him a shot. I never thought I’d have to take his blood to make sure that his blood sugar wasn’t crazy and you know, all of those things. I never thought I’d have to chase him at 2:00 in the morning in a hotel because I wanted to take him out and you know, because he didn’t know where he was.
Leeza Gibbons:
We talk you about, take your oxygen first. We wrote a book with that title and just like they stay in the airplane, you’ve got 16 seconds on a plane of useful consciousness, I think, before you are no good to anybody, before you will pass out. So I hope that people will keep that visual in mind and know that you have to take your oxygen, nourish yourself, then you will have the energy, the resources, the sanity to offer something to someone else because you are stressed, you are depressed, you are depleted, you need to give yourself a break.
Catherine Bach:
But I also think, you know, as I am sitting here with you Leeza and I have known you for many years, we have been friends for a long time, you have an underlying sense of positivity. You are positive. You are an upbeat person so no matter what hits you, you have that. Is there any way, do you meditate? Do you do something?
Leeza Gibbons:
I do meditate, and it’s funny, if you have every tried it, I don’t know about you but I am like, “Am I doing it. I think I am failing. I think I am lousy at it. I don’t know. I should start over,” and I have kind of learned to know that that’s the process, is like oh okay, that’s, you know, you are outside of yourself watching yourself think about, and that’s the message I think of this conference where we are today and the message of empowerment is to recognize that we can be strong and still messed up. We can still be vulnerable and still be fierce protectors and defenders of ourselves and our families.
But when you make a mistake, when you are less than you think you should be, that just means you are on the path of your own humanity and so…
Catherine Bach:
Oh that’s fabulous.
Leeza Gibbons:
And lots of times when I fell like, “Oh my gosh, I just, don’t you,” You know people look at you and your all put together and you’ve get this career and all this, you know, you are super mom but, you know, I know there are times when you probably feel that you haven’t done what you wanted or you are bad at it…
Catherine Bach:
I think what it is, is here at the conference, at the Women’s Conference, here at EmpowHER we are all women; we are all people standing together, standing strong and making each other stronger, giving each other tips. So we found out that Leeza meditates which also helps her with her situations and the stress in her life and that means being quiet and centering on yourself and taking care of yourself. That’s the message of…
Leeza Gibbons:
That’s the message. I always say take your first five, if you could just take the first five minutes of the day, the last five minutes of the day, stretch, be quiet – that’s meditating. You know, people think call it prayer, call it intention, call it whatever, you are doing it.
Just take those minutes, just five, and when you are physically tired that’s the time to go inward. When you are emotionally stressed a five-minute walk will change your entire biophysics, right? So you can really get, you can reconnect those synapses. I am sure some doctors say what is she talking about – you can reboot yourself is what I should say. You can reboot your ability to be stronger with just a five-minute walk.
Catherine Bach:
We have both been through terrible situations with Alzheimer’s. Did you do anything with diet, for Alzheimer’s? Do you have any recommended tips about how to take care of somebody and their dietary concerns when they have Alzheimer’s, or is there anything that’s proven or…?
Leeza Gibbons:
You know, luckily there’s a lot of research going on but what you and I know is that what’s good for the heart is good for the brain and whether it’s a person that has cognitive decline or the person taking care of him/her is scared to death to get it, we do know that nourishing ourselves supplements, fresh fruits and vegetables, exercising – all those things to which there’s no secret, there’s no magic bullet, but we know that inflammation is the base of so many disease states and so there are foods that are natural anti-inflammatories; and if you look at India where they have cumin and turmeric and all those spices that are anti-inflammatory.
Catherine Bach:
And rice and vegetables – that’s what they eat.
Leeza Gibbons:
You know there’s not a lot of mental decline the way that we know it here. So those are I think probably the best things to look at is, you know, the things that we crave when we are stressed or I do, carbohydrates and sugar, not your friend and if we get focused on real food, which I find really hard as a busy mom, I really do. I think that it’s nice to get that encouragement from this environment. Blueberries work, Dr. Oz says they do.
Catherine Bach:
Yes, it does.
Leeza Gibbons:
He does. He says those blueberries there, everyday your cells are going through the oxidation process and that’s what I talk about the antioxidants – the deeper the color of the fruit or vegetable the more protection you are getting. So fill in your plate with a rainbow and you are probably doing the best thing you can for your brain.
Catherine Bach:
And I just want to reinforce those messages. It’s the whole body – mind, body, spirit, and Leeza, you have pointed all of that out so well to us. Thank you so much for being with us on EmpowHER.
Leeza Gibbons:
Thank you for what you are doing. This is beautiful.
Catherine Bach:
This really gets out to women and everybody out there. We have a million and a half people that come and see us and visit us on the website every month.
Leeza Gibbons:
. . . smart, strong women who can reach out and connect and offer strength and support.
Catherine Bach:
And thank you for being here.
Leeza Gibbons:
Lots of love; thank you so much.
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