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How many children is the perfect number for your family? This was a common discussion that I frequently found myself having with friends. After having a second child, we all seemed to struggle with decision of adding to our families.
For me, something strange happens when my babies turn one. As I carefully fold and pack away the newborn clothes, I feel the soft cotton and can’t help but lift them to my face to take in the gentle Dreft fragrance. Just like that, the baby urge hits me. Not that my husband and I suddenly take action to have another one but it gets me thinking.
Also, one year is about the time that it takes for a Mother to forget about the challenges that a newborn can bring. The sleepless nights. The long, endless eating schedule. Your breasts that are still connected to your body but no longer belong to you. Suddenly, the tiny person that needed you for everything, now wants to walk and do things without your help. As they explore their independence, you watch your baby slip away from you. You begin to regain some freedom and realize that you are doing a pretty good job as a Mom. Why stop now?
So when are you ready for another baby? And how many is enough? In talking with friends, one thing is certain, MAKING the decision to try and have another baby is a scary thing. You are committing to changing your life. It is wonderful, yes, but there is no turning back.
After our second son turned one, as always, I began to think how wonderful it would be to have another baby. Another year went by before my husband and I actually began to discuss it. We never seemed to be thinking the same thing at the same time. At times, I thought we should have another baby. He wasn’t sure. Other times, he was the one that wanted another child. I didn’t agree.
We went through all the logical points. Could we financially support another baby? How would it affect our other children? Was I at an age where I felt comfortable having another baby? As we made lists and tried to lay out the pros and cons of adding to our family, I started to wonder if we just needed to follow our hearts. I had forgotten that a baby is made out of love.
In a time of “Jon and Kate plus Eight” and “Octa -Mom,” I think most Moms would be satisfied with less than eight children. But the question still remains, how many children is the right amount for your family? Does your internal clock ever stop ticking?
Add a Comment4 Comments
i had a lil baby girl 7 weeks ago and want another one as soon as possible!! do you think im mad and is it safe?
August 2, 2009 - 4:25amThis Comment
Congratulations on your little baby girl!
Please talk with your doctor about this, as the best answer is: it depends on your specific situation. There are so many factors (physical, emotional, mental), but your doctor can tell you: how well is your body physically healing after delivery?
You are probably experiencing the "baby high" right now, so you are not "mad", this is a normal feeling. Most doctors recommend waiting anywhere from 2-18 months before trying to have another child (again, depending on your situation). It would be wise to wait at least a few months, to see if you are still feeling the same "high". The little infants soon become more of a handful; they begin sleeping through the night around 2-3 months old (sometimes, much later!), and you feel a little more "human" again. But, they are then more active during the day. I would give yourself some time to go through a few more stages with your infant before deciding to try again. And, does your partner feel the same way (about wanting another baby so quickly)?
My personal advice: enjoy time with your little girl for a little while longer, talk with your doctor about what is "safe", and talk with your partner.
August 2, 2009 - 9:19amThis Comment
Can somebody help me decide whether I should have another baby? I will tell you about myself a little so you can understand how hard it is for me to decide. I was born September 6,1937,my husband was born January 31,1937. We have 21 children,our first born in late 1960,now aged 48 awaiting her 49th birthday,and our last to date born at the ending of 2000,now 8,9 in December. I currently have 6 of my children and 1 of my grandchildren living with me. My oldest child living with me turned 17 in March,my second oldest living with me turned 13 last month,my twins will turn 11 in October,and my younger to date will be 9 in December. My 17 year old daughter had a baby last year,who lives with me and my family right now,I'm planning to buy her a house nearby when she turns 18,but she will have lifetime support from the family. My family has no conflict's in relationship at the time. My third daughter who turned 41 in June just had a baby in April. My biggest worries about having a baby is that if I have a baby 2010,I'm worried I migth lose it because of my diabetes,un-motherly age and my health. Some smaller worries are that my bones are already hurting so much,I would lose much needed sleep for a women turning 72 this September,and the major age difference between my first born,who will be 50 when the baby is born. My self image could pass for about 40 tho. And my family helps so much and there are 2 nurses that come to check up on me at 12 and I have a house-taker who can also help with the messes a baby will bring. One thing I'm most concerned about is the baby's health,my youngest was born with low blood pressure, and diabetes. I just hope the baby would be healthy,my doctor had told me that there was a chance of the baby passing due to failure to complete living needs. None of my children are disabled,but my 13-year old grandson has ADD and has seizures every so often,but when he does have seizures his father(who is my son) puts him in a safe place and lets him recover,his mother(who was my daughter-in-law) died in a fire in 2005,so I go there every so often and help out and take him(my grandson) to go see plays at the bay shore theater with me and my children. Me and my family do the best to keep him from getting seizures. And my 7th daughter(who is 33 now) was born when I was 38 has asthma and so does my 12th daughter(who is 22 now) was born when i was 51 and so does my 13th daughter(who is 21 now) was 52 when i was born also has asthma. And my 14th daughter(now 20) has bone-cancer and was born when I was 53. And 19th and 20th children(who are 10 now) where hospitalized when they were born,and I was 62 at the time due it the month being October and my birth-month being in September. I definitely have the money for a baby tho. I'm really just worried about the health of me and the baby. The reason for my wanting of another baby is that I'm fantasized by child birth and I have always wanted a big family,for I never had one,and my life is winding down now and soon,all my children will move out. My oldest child thats living with me will be 18 next year,and moving out, and my youngest will be 9 this December and will be moving out and going to college in about 9 or 10 years. And I still get my period 2 times a year,soon it will be 1 time and year,and then I lose my period and the ability to give birth forever.
July 17, 2009 - 11:35amThis Comment
If you want another baby then you should have one! Life is too short not to
September 14, 2009 - 3:30pmThis Comment