By: Stan Popovich
Some people get very anxious when they try to make new friends. Meeting new people for the first time and trying to develop new friendships can be very stressful if you are shy or not outgoing. Here are some suggestions on how you can make new friends without getting anxious and fearful.
The most important thing is to be yourself. Do not pretend to be someone you are not because it will eventually catch up to you. Even if you are not the most popular person, being yourself will go a long way. You want your potential friends to be your friend for who you are and not for what you have or do not have.
Find People of similar interests to help increase your chances of making friends. Go join the local golf club if you like to golf or go to the gym if you like to exercise. Meeting people with similar interests will make it easier to make friends because you will both have something in common. It will also make it easy to start a conversation with someone.
To help reduce your fear or anxiety of making new friends, use good judgement in who you associate with. Try to use commonsense in who your companions are. If you are a person who is looking for someone who is involved in the church, you will most likely not find that person if you go to the bars.
In order to have a friend, you got to be a friend. Be outgoing and considerate when you are around people. Do not rush or force a friendship. Just be friendly to everyone and eventually you will find someone who will want to be your friend.
Consider the other persons' needs. Try to show some interest in the people you meet. Talk to them in terms of their needs and wants. Do not just talk about yourself.
Making friends can be stressful if you are shy or not outgoing. Just be yourself and go out and do something you like to do. Eventually you will find someone who has similar interests. If you still have trouble then talk to a professional who can give you more tips.
BIOGRAPHY:
Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/
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this is written for healthy people...what about those with severe chronic diseases. Making plans is extremely hard since you never know if you will be well enough to attend, classes, meetings etc.
Just emailing at times my friends wears me out and yet i miss them so much and i love them and want to be there for them. I do not just want them here for me.
I have tried going to classes here where I moved, at a local church. The pastor was so controlling even though i was up front and said i have few diseases so i might miss some classes will that be okay. Her answer was yes...but she than would try and shame me if i did miss class. Tell me that if i believed correctly i would not even be sick...i am choosing to make myself sick on purpose ..i get something out of it.
Yes others in class got upset and eventually so many people drop out that her church disappeared.
But it left me even more nervous about trying new places to meet others.
Plus it seems we have cliques here...one is extremely liberal and other conservative and racist even. I am in the middle....every time i meet someone like me...they agree it is like this here and they move.
I like to move but i doubt i can afford it plus right now my husband did move back in and feel maybe i should stay and see where it leads...right now my feelings are i love him but as friend. He is very hard to live with and often brings me down or makes me sick...yet on other hand he can cheer me up..gets me and can be very understanding...know the right thing to say or help me to solve issues i want to work on. so i am confused.
appreciate any advice
December 7, 2012 - 11:22amThis Comment