I never imagined that my husband would be diagnosed with prostate cancer three months after his 49th birthday. But when we found out that his PSA was 13 ng/mL, and that he was scheduled for a biopsy, I began to think that maybe prostate cancer wasn’t just an “older man’s disease.”
Once the diagnosis was confirmed, a thousand thoughts ran through my mind: Would my husband die? Would he be incontinent after surgery? Would we never be able to make love again? (Thank God, the answer was no to all three.)
Because of his age, we decided on a radical prostatectomy. I won’t tell you that it was easy. But we were grateful when the surgeon said he got all the cancer, and was able to preserve both nerve bundles (if both bundles were removed, he would have been permanently impotent).
Several years later, we got a call from his urologist that many couples fear. My husband’s annual PSA test was 0.3 ng/mL. The test was repeated with the same result, which meant there was cancer somewhere in his body. Fortunately the doctors felt that there was only a small amount of slow-growing cancer in the area where the prostate gland had been. It was now the radiation oncologist’s turn to “clean things up.”
First, my husband had six months of hormone shots (hot flashes have been added to our list of shared life experiences), followed by eight weeks of radiation five days a week. Though he was tired at the end, he pretty much sailed through radiation without any major complications.
Today we live one day at a time and celebrate every small success. Like the fact that my husband’s 22-month follow-up PSA test was <0.01 ng/mL —undetectable.
As a result of our experience, I've started an information and support website, hisprostatecancer.com, that is specifically for wives and partners of men with prostate cancer. The side effects of prostate cancer (such as impotence) are difficult for couples of any age, but they are particularly devastating for younger couples. The mission of hisprostatecancer is to help wives and partners cope with the problems that can arise after prostate cancer treatment, empower them with knowledge, and help them know they are not alone.
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Taxi,
I agree with Alison. I love your story and your frame of mind. Thank you for writing it!! I know it will help people. You tough guy, you. :)
June 8, 2010 - 8:10amThis Comment
Sorry Lads this is for you.
PROSTATE CANCER
You may have read that Dennis Hopper the actor died aged 74 from Prostate Cancer.
I am a cancer survivor aged 73.
I am a prostate cancer survivor because I had water works problems.
Went to see my GP and on snapped the infamous glove.
Fear not lads , this is more embarrassing than painful. A lot of 'Uming' and ' Aring' Compulsory with Doctors.
After the rubber finger was removed he refereed my to the local hospital.
There I meet some very worried looking men all drinking water by the gallons to pee on demand (try it . Its Impossible) into a bucket type machine with whirly bits in it that measured the power of your pee or lack of power as the case may be.
The resulting chart looked like the Tory graft when brown took office. A sudden decent downwards.
After another embarrassing test being another invasion of your rear end including a student Bum Inspector who kept saying Sorry as they took scrapping for testing. Again more red faced than pain. Then I went home .
I received a curt letter which simply said "you have Prostate Cancer" No break it to me gently Doc here.
The upshot was to attend 6 weeks of daily season for radio therapy. (weekends of for good behaviour)
So daily I attended and lay down on a long platform and was trundled slowly into the jaws of a large machine.
THIS IS PAINLESS lads in fact you do meet a lovely bevy of caring nurses (told you there are good bits)
One problem with the scrapings that know body told me was that a scab forms and when the scam becomes detached you get blood in your pee. This happened to me when I was unfortunately sharing a public toilet through type urinal. I don't know who was more astonished as my blood/pee went slowly down hill passed my fellow pee'ers. They all looked at me and I looked at the bloke next to me (Accusingly)
Also and just as importantly there are still the injections of a capsule into the stomach. this is slightly painful but we are macho men and can take it.
The only drawback is you tend to put on a lot of weight. (do not let your Mrs/Care say its because you eat to much). Its the capsules (that's my excuse besides, I hate Salads). And the cost of new trousers is a bind.
Every 12 weeks I toddle of to the local clinic and another nice nurse (more perks lads) injects the capsule into you tummy. It does sting a bit , but we laugh at pain ( the nurse is most impressed)
Actually afterwards I get into my car, close the windows and scream.( no I don't lads Ha Ha )
Also (yes a lot of 'Al so's ' but this is serious stuff ) To continue I have a blood test to send to hospital for testing (always very good results) this is also carried out by the same nice nurse (another chance to be macho man)
That all happened 4 years ago and as I look at the smiles of my grand children I think thank God for the Doc with the rubber glove.
Going now to have a pie and chips
June 5, 2010 - 3:36pmRegards
Taxi Oxford UK
This Comment
What a great story..thank you so much for sharing!!!
June 6, 2010 - 6:47pmThis Comment
Anon (the original again),
Pat is so right. I want you to know that there will be so many women who will just see the title of your post -- "I thought my husband was too young for prostate cancer, yet he was diagnosed at age 49" -- and that will be all it takes to alert them that someone in their lives around age 50 needs to be tested.
That's what EmpowHer is all about. Thank you again.
October 12, 2009 - 8:24amThis Comment
Dear Anon (the original Anon,)
October 9, 2009 - 5:48pmThank you for posting this important information. And kudos for reaching out to help others. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my 30's I too found that people didn't realize that cancers don't read age charts or follow predictable patterns. Your work, and your husband's willingness to share information about his own situation, is going to help many others. I hope his recovery is as successful as mine, and that both of you continue this important mission.
Take good care,
Pat
This Comment
Anon (the original Anon,)
What an important post this is. Thank you so much for writing about your journey.
You are right, I think many, many people make the assumption that prostate cancer is an older person's cancer. For anyone who needs more information about it, we have an EmpowHer encyclopedia page on it:
https://www.empowher.com/media/reference/prostate-cancer#definition
Here is the guideline on prevention:
Beginning at 50 years old, men should be offered a digital rectal exam and PSA blood test to screen for prostate cancer. Many, but not all professional organizations, recommend a yearly PSA blood test for men over 50 years old. Black men and men with close family members who have had prostate cancer diagnosed at a young age should begin screening at 45 years old. All men should discuss PSA testing with their doctor.
Depending on how young a man is at diagnosis, this information from Duke may be helpful:
http://www.dukehealth.org/HealthLibrary/News/9530
It's particularly important for young men with prostate cancer to be treated quickly. Research just published in the Sept. 21, 2009 issue of Oncology says that the younger the patient, the more aggressive the cancer can be:
http://www.cancernetwork.com/display/article/10165/1457484?verify=0
Anon, it's so wonderful that you started the website for wives and partners of men with prostate cancer. I visited it and was very impressed at the depth of information and empathy on the site. You will help so many people!
October 9, 2009 - 8:51amThis Comment
Hi, my husband is 46 years old. We were just married in July, 2009. He was just diagnosed with an enlarged prostate and was placed on a 21 day antibiotic. Pending results. What information can you provide me to help me, help my husband and myself. This is a delicate situation.
October 7, 2009 - 8:46pmThis Comment
There are other conditions (other than prostate cancer) that can cause an enlarged prostate (BPH, infection, etc). However, did the doctor do a PSA test to get a baseline number? This is something you may want to ask about.
October 8, 2009 - 6:01amThis Comment
Thanks for the share. My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer in his early 50's. After a radical prostatectomy and 10 years later he's still cancer free. Best of luck to your husband.
May 19, 2009 - 4:05pmThis Comment