When most people talk about depression, they will often talk about how it can affect the person who is suffering the depression. They will also mention how it can have a negative impact on their social life, their work life and their family life. What most will often forget to mention or think about is the affect that depression can have on the friends and family of the person with it, especially those who have bipolar disorder, otherwise known as manic depression. Bipolar disorder is one of the more serious kinds of depression out there and it is one that not only affects the person who has it in an immense way, it can have a huge negative impact on both their friends and their family.
Most are well aware of how the disorder can affect those who have it. The change from an episode of deep depression to one of mania, where the person will experience and exhibit high irritability, can make most things in life difficult. People with bipolar disorder will often have mood swings, become withdrawn, participate in fewer activities, communicate less, have less of a social life, and appear hyper at some times while drained or lethargic the next. Friends start to disappear and others don’t feel that they want to be around that person anymore because they feel as though the person with the disorder is no fun to be around. The family, however, especially the immediate family, can not dismiss or leave the family member alone as easily as a friend can leave. Both the spouse and the children are further attached to the depressed person because they have a deeper care for that person than a friend would. As the family member with the bipolar disorder continues on in their life without getting the help or treatment that they need, the family members around them begin to feel drained and can become depressed themselves. No matter what they do, they can’t seem to make this person feel better and it can leave a person feeling helpless, guilty and mentally drained.
A family that has a member who may have bipolar disorder should try their best to get that person the help that they need. It is not something that other family members can help with. First, one has to find out, somehow, if the person really is suffering from bipolar disorder. This can be done by consulting an online counselor who would be more than happy to answer any questions and give any suggestions or advice. If it is believed that this person really is suffering from bipolar disorder, than the best thing for the family to do is to get that person into counseling. Many individuals will not go in to see a counselor because they are embarrassed or they don’t want to appear weak to others; however, many of these individuals are more open to the idea of online therapy. The online therapist will work with the person to find out if they are possibly suffering from bipolar disorder. If it is found that this person is suffering from bipolar disorder, then they can work with this person through online counseling to find an appropriate treatment. In getting treatment for this person, it is also helping the family in that it can keep the family together, improve the overall atmosphere in the household and keep the happiness and joy in life around.
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someone told me that their mother was bipolar but the condition only affects the women in the family? is that true? i find that hard to believe.
October 17, 2008 - 10:51pmThis Comment
Thanks so much for your post, Jennifer. That does help a bit. I have a lot of pressure to keep in touch with my mother from other family members (I hear the "but she's your mother" comment all the time), so that will be a challenge. Also, I will need to deal with my sister & the fact that I am not happy she is blaming me for my mother's issues. I am not quite sure what to say to her, but I don't think it will be pretty & I am pretty sure no matter what I say I won't get anywhere with her either.
July 22, 2008 - 9:39amThis Comment
Hey Tina:
Well there are a lot of free options out there besides paying for therapy, but the general idea is to get a great support system in place. Not sure if you know what the word "enabler" is but a lot of times, that is what we do with family members and then we loose ourselves in the process. Education and knowledge about the disorder is helpful because a lot of times, bipolar people will start to blame everything on the disorder and people that do not know any better will go along with it.
Do your research and get unified as a family to help each other and the person that you love.
Jennifer Baxt, NCC, DCC
July 21, 2008 - 2:21pm]]>[email protected]]]>
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Jennifer -- I am dealing with a mother who I think has bi-polar disorder. She has admitted to be depressed recently but now says she is fine (but hasn't done anything to be fine). I have another family member who has bi-polar disorder & thinks my mother has it, too. In addition, I found out years ago my mother was on lithium (I am not sure if she is on that now), which I have been told treats this. I have told her she needs to get professional help, but she refuses. What makes the situation worse is that she blames me for her depression. I have asked my sister to help me to get her to seek help & instead of dealing with this tough subject has decided to blame me for her depression as well. Any advice?
July 21, 2008 - 9:29amThis Comment
Sounds like your mom is placing blame and not dealing with her problems, that is denial or just plain mother's guilt. As hard as this is to hear, you might need to distance yourself from your mom if you cannot handle what she is doing. When you have nobody else to blame, then you need to start working on yourself. With you to blame, she does not have to take responsibility for her own self. Hope this helps
Jennifer Baxt, NCC, DCC
July 21, 2008 - 2:26pm]]>[email protected]]]>
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For family members who are feeling drained but may not have the resources for counseling, what types of tips would you recommend? How can a family member work to provide a more stable family environment while the bipolar family member gets needed help? Thanks.
July 21, 2008 - 8:30amThis Comment