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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Add a Comment1230 Comments
Hey crazy women. He's not cheating. It's not because you are gaining weight. It's not because of all of what your stupid mind is playing on you. Men eventually get tired. Of everything and will always upgrade when they can. Unfortunately you can't upgrade your spouse because society says it's WRONG and SHAMEFUL... so we as humans are STUCK and afraid to lose face in society. Think about it. We all love to upgrade. Upgrades in cars, tvs, cloths, homes, jobs... because it all gets boring after some time and usage. It's nature at its best. We try to find reasons for why sex gets boring, and will blame it on cheating, gaining weight, etc. Bottomline, sex gets boring in relationships.... yet we can't be swingers because it's not socially acceptable.. so we're stuck. If you ladies think the next man will fix it... trust me.. you're a fool... Go find the next man and have sex 5 times a day, but I guaranty sex will dissolve after some time as the previous relationship. Ask yourselves this... are your parents or grandparents still having sex 5 times a day? Everyone goes through it, but no one talks about it. IT's NORMAL!
December 10, 2010 - 9:53amThis Comment
I have sat down and talked to him. I asked him why we do not have sex and he says "I dont know". I have tried everthing and i am getting nowhere.
December 10, 2010 - 9:21pmThis Comment
The guy that said "You ladies are all stupid. Sex like everything else gets boring after doing it 2-4 times a week. Just like anything else, people eventually get tired of the same ole thing. Just stop with the stupid stories and questions. Bottomline, men and women will get bored of the same toy. Therefore we find other things to keep the relationship going. If sex is IMPORTANT in a relationship for you. Then don't get into one, and just have sex with multiple people to fulfill your quest for sex. Easy. Why do you females make it so complicated. One last thing... men will make excuses and have you going in circles.. but the bottom line is.. sex get's boring with the same person for many years.. but morality keeps them faithful, therefore you get lame excuses for not wanting sex... such as stress, tired, work, etc. Stop searching for false answers. It's not that complicated." gave THE BEST ANSWER!! Any other answer on here is crap; I just denied my girlfriend sex after a series of excuses and anticipation, but when it came down to it I really didn't want to. My girlfriend is hot, skinny, DDs, but as that guy said, guys get bored, it wouldn't matter if it was jessica alba, it'll be the same story!
December 10, 2010 - 10:25pmThis Comment
ok this is bullshit! sex never got boring with my partner! we had the best sex life ever! To be honest it is the best sex i ever had in my life. He always told me that he loved having sex with me too. He was always the one who always wanted to have sex. But now he doesnt even seem like the same person anymore. he seems shy or annoyed. I try to kiss him and pull him close to me and he giggles and pushes me away. he tells me "not im tired" or "leave me alone i want to watch tv". I am so tired of hearing these lame ass excusses. Hell, right now i would do anything just for him to just makeout with me. I cant stand being ignored and pushed away like i am worthless. i am definently not crazy like he tells me i am. i have a good head on my shoulders and i know i am a great woman as well as a mother. My dad is 50yrs old and he & his wife have been together for 11 years now and they are the biggest pervs. they are always talking about sex and how they have such a great sex life. My dad is conserned about me and my partner because we dont have sex and we havent for over a year now. I am 19 and my partner is 29. we have a 5 month old babyboy. I first noticed when he stopped being affectionate when i had my first pregnancy then miscaried the day i found out i was pregnant. I kinda got a little depressed and i didnt have sex for a month. After that he did not seem interested in sex anymore. we had sex one time and the last time because i kept bitching about it and that is when i got pregnant with our son but we havent had sex since then. i look pretty damn good for having a kid. I weigh 110 pounds and have no stretchmarks. I get lots of compliments from other guys but i can walk naked in front of him and he wont even look at me. I climb ontop of him and he pushes me off. i dont want to say i am a sex addict but damn how can a guy constanly make up excusses and deny me when i lay everything out for him. How can a man go this long without sex or any affection what so ever????? I am so tired of the excusses. but i know for a fact he isnt cheating. so please explain that to me!
December 10, 2010 - 8:51pmThis Comment
I think that if you love someone you can tell them what you think as it can be resolved. Id love my fiancee no matter what she looked like. There are far more important things in life and the more people enjoy themselves the less problems we would see. For everyone that wants other to change you have to stop and think what would they change about me. Guys love your women, they are a special and really do have to put up with a lot more than us guys. Finding something that adds a spark is sometimes needed, no matter how much love there is or how long you been together. If you can love your partner and still be sexually attracted to them, its all you need.
Try fantasies as long as your comfortable with your partner it could help with lots of things for them and you. If i could have sex every day i would but i think she would get tired, but the small gaps in between really make up for it when you do. Girls dont blame yourself and guys Wakey wakey
December 8, 2010 - 4:29pmThis Comment
Sorry to say it as well but I have been through this too. He is cheating on you. Confront him and if he doesn't tell the truth then find out yourself.
December 8, 2010 - 4:24pmThen leave him if it is because you are too young and he will only do this again.
This Comment
Hi everyone! I just wanted to say a BIG thank you to Christine for helping to save my relationship! I wrote in on 3rd November about my fiance, and after following the advice Christine gave me, my relationship is now better than ever! Thank you sooo much! X
December 8, 2010 - 1:48amThis Comment
This made me smile...you're very welcome. I definitely don't assume to be any kind of relationship expert, but I'm glad your relationship is doing better. It reminds me of a Beatles lyric, "and in the end, the love you get is equal the love you give."
December 8, 2010 - 7:23amKeep at it! Warmest regards,
-Christine
This Comment
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We used to do it all the time but it has gone down from there. we used to do it everyday but now we hardly do it. Id say probably once a month, if im lucky once every 2 weeks? I am really upset about this. Im not sure what to do. He tells me he loves me and that the only reason we dont do it as much is because he is tired from work? But guys are always meant to want it more than the girls? I shouldnt have to beg for it. I dont think he is cheating on me because were always together. Do you think maybe he is just genuinely tired? Someone please help.
December 4, 2010 - 5:29pmThis Comment
Hi Anonymous,
December 6, 2010 - 7:34amI'm sorry you are having to deal with this. You are definitely not alone in your situation--there are many women experiencing similar circumstances. Please visit our Sexual Well-Being page for more information, articles, and to connect with women in your same spot to gain their insight and insight from EmpowHER Guides:
Sexual Well-Being
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.
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