Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

One last thing - just try to think big picture - so you entered a relationship and had mad constant sex for a few months - don't get tricked into thinking that is the norm. People live for 80 yrs and I'm pretty sure that for 60-70 of those years the sex rate is pretty low. so Enjoy the two-a-days while it lasts. And don't let TV and movies fool you - people aren't constantly getting laid and having affairs. Life doesn't revolve around sex.

Very interesting stuff. I am a guy, married for 8 years and followed the same pattern as many on here, except we never had that hot and heavy period - it was slow to begin with, and got up to medium, maybe 1-3 times a week before we got married (together 7 years prior to marriage), but after that (now 8 years into marriage) it has gradually slowed to just once every month or two. a couple of yrs ago I avoided her like the plague when she started talking about wanting children. It absolutely killed my drive. So that's something to consider. But we went on vacation and something about the excitement and relaxation of a tropical vacation, that really stirs up the pot, so we had great vacation sex and ended up pregnant. So now we have a beautiful 1 yr old girl and are back to our slow sex pattern. I am ok with it, I have never had much of a libido. We don't talk about it, so I don't know if she is sexually frustrated. I do know that we are each other's entire worlds. We have our own interests but at the end of the day, it's us and now our daughter. We talk about everything, we argue about things like politics and child raising etc. but there is this deep mutual respect.
Boring right? What's the point? Here's my take.
If your man doesn't want sex, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong. It's supposed to slow down over time. If you want to make sex a top priority in your relationship, then you need to be forward about it. If he can't deal with that, then you aren't a good fit.
I mentioned previously about "vacation sex." There is something to that. Going on vacation, or having some other exciting change in life, tends to notch up the passion. Maybe you can find ways to excite your man. Think outside the box. It isn't always about sexy underwear. Maybe you can surprise him with something totally out there - like go skydiving or go to a concert or something that he wouldn't expect - that is what is going to lower his guard and make him relax. Everyone is different so there is not one answer that will work for everybody.
Last thing, if you are sending signals that you are unhappy or unsatisfied or frustrated with him, believe me, he is noticing, and unfortunately it is NOT going to fix him, it will only make it worse. Anyway thanks for reading and I hope this can help somebody.

What many of the women (and men too) in these comments seem to be describing is the "Coolidge effect." If you get a chance, Wikipedia it; it's a funny (and tragic) story. But if comes down to the evolutionary fact that for millions of years, men's genes had a better chance of being passed on based on the more women they slept with. Perversely, women's genes had a better chance of being passed on based on a close relationship with one man who could help provide for the offspring. It's kind of a big cosmic joke. Very funny, very tragic. But there are some things that we can do to override our evolutionary programming. My fiancé and I have found the book, "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow," helpful. It discusses the problem with mating, specifically the problem with male-driven ejaculatory sex, and how people can circumvent it with lots of cuddling and lots of communication - no, REALLY, tell him everything and allow him to tell you, too. We have found other activities such as looking at porn together or going to a strip club together to be ways of learning more about each other's sexuality without condoning or condemning such acts. But for the original poster of the question, it sounds like Step 1 would be some research into the male sex drive (another good book we found is "Sex, Time, and Power") so that she is armed and ready to move on to Step 2: a real heart-to-heart with her man.

That is so weird, i have the same problem. Hopefully somebody got some thoughts.....
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years, and about 6 month ago we decided to move in together. We have age difference and I am not quite sure if it’s relevant to this topic, but he is 31 and going to turn 23 in a couple of month. At the beginning of our relationship we had lots of sex, so much that sometimes I would need a break….but I always liked it. Then and now, he had and has the same amount of stress, but recently it became an excuse for not having sex, he also gained around 30 lbs since last year. When I’m trying to have a conversation about it, it seems that it is very sensitive topic for him – and it turns into small argument between us…and he would start saying things like he cant satisfy me anymore and blah blah blah
Therefore, if I won’t initiate it, 2 weeks can go by and he won’t even try to do anything.
Cheating is completely out of question…So I just wonder, if it’s age difference? The gaining weight thing? Or the fact that we moved in together?

Hey i know that sex pleasured us but being a boy ..sex decreases our strength , stamina at the sex time or during intercourse it seems nice

ME TOOO MY MAN HASNT HAVE SEX SINCE OCTOBER AND I AM HORNY WHAT GOING I THOUGHT MEN WERE THE ONES WAITNG IT AND WOMEN NOT ITD NOT TRUE US WOMEN BEEN PUT ON THE BACK BURNER

Have you checked out the possibility that there could be undiagnosed Aspergers present with your boyfriend? A rapid decrease in sexual activity, within months of the start of a relationship (or sooner sometimes), is common with this, leaving the non-AS partner feeling quite bewildered (looking for a reason) and rejected. The AS person is often unaware of why they are not interested in sex anymore and they don't intend to cause their partner emotional pain. High functioning undiagnosed Aspergers people are often gentle, kind and intelligent and their Aspergers can go 'undiscovered' until they are in a relationship that makes daily emotional and communication demands on them (including sex) that they find hard to sustain over the medium to long term. Many times it is the non-AS spouse/partner who seeks counselling for the pain of the early and unexplainable emotional/social/sexual deprivation they experience and if the counsellor/psychologist is aware of how undiagnosed adult Aspergers manifests in a relationship/marriage (which not all are), they will bring this to your attention. It may not be this, but it's a possibility worth checking out.

I was in this situation as well, although I was the one who didnt want to have sex with my boyfriend. Were no longer together, but we were highschool sweethearts I guess you could say. We dated for 5 years and at first I was extremly attracted to him. We were always intimate and we had a great sex life together. Over time, he became extremly controlling, jealous and was really manipulative. He really broke down my confidence to the point I didnt leave, ya I know sad but hey I learnt my lesson. Anways, after all these changes my sex drive drastically decreased as well. So I dont think its only that he CHEATED, more so, how is your relationship. Do you guys go out or stay home all the time, do you guys respect eachother, is there trust. All these things can affect sex drive. Also, something else that Ive experianced is that, while in a relationship and unhappy I lost my sex drive, and honestly when he asked I wasnt honest, I mean how can you be honest with someone and say your attracted to other people and dont want to have sex with your boyfriend. I know its low and unfair but its really difficult. Its all about being fully happy in a relationship because believe it or not, not ALL guys can just have sex to have sex, a lot of them need to feel geniune feelings of all around happiness. So basically, before you jump to the gun of HE CHEATED, really look into the relationship and find what might be not satisfying him. Also, DO NOT PRESSURE ANYONE TO HAVE SEX, it makes it MUCH worse! Ive been happy in a new relationship now for over a year and half and still having great sex.
Good luck!

Sweetie, you seem like a very nice girl, and it's plain that living in town so small that you can't talk to anyone without feeling that EVERYONE will know what's going on is a sword with a double edge; on one side, you can't confide in anyone, so you can't get your concerns off your chest without it being public news. On the OTHER side, if the town's THAT small, it's only a matter of a very short time till you can get someone to tell you what's REALLY going on with your boyfriend. And I can almost guarantee that the only reason you don't ALREADY know the truth is because, naturally, you don't WANT to know the obvious; if the two of you are between the ages of 16 and 24, and you've been dating for over six months, but he hasn't shown interest in sex with you, it IS because he's getting it with someone else, I'm sorry, but .... this really is simple human nature.

I can't imagine why you'd care WHY he doesn't want sex with you any longer. Bottom line, he doesn't -- you still do. Move on sister cuz life is too short. If the shoe was on the other foot..he'd move on.