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The Fertility Do's:
1. If You Are Under The Age of of 34 and Not Planning on Getting Pregnant Right Now: Do Get a Fertility Evaluation;
2. If you are sexually active and you are not in a monogamous relationship or only "fluid bonded" to one person - Do use condoms. Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STD's) is a leading cause of infertility;
3. Do see a Fertility Specialist if you are 35 years old and have been trying for six months or longer. Too many women waste precious years sitting in their gynecologist's office cycle after cycle;
4. Do make friends with your body. Your relationship to your body does count. Get in touch with yourself. What is your body trying to tell you through physical symptoms? Read "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing" by Christiane Northrup, MD. Learn about how the effects of nutrition, stress reduction, complimentary medicine, sex and lifestyle can impact on your fertility;
5. If you find yourself going through infertility, Do build yourself a "Fertility Support Team". A Fertility Support team could consist of your everyday friends and family. For some people that is the best - and for others the idea of talking about infertility with close family and friends is really edgy. But there can be lot of components to a "Fertility Support Team". For peer support there are lots of great on line opportunities for connection. Check out Fertility-Ties for a great on line 24/7 community of peer support and professional answers, or INCIID has a great network of message boards. If you prefer meeting face to face check out the in person support groups that are offered by RESOLVE and The American Fertility Association;
6. Do think about hiring a "Fertility Consultant" if you are able to afford one (and some of them are not too pricey at all). It is wonderful to have your own personal guide through the world of reproductive medicine. Your Fertility Consultant acts as a kind of "Conception Life Coach" You don't need to live in the same town or even state as your consultant. Most of the work is usually done on the telephone. A short resource list would include -- "My Fertility Plan", and "Lotus Blossom Consulting";
7. Do get a second opinion if you are working with a doctor and have not achieved a pregnancy in six months to one year. A great way to get a second opinion is to take advantage of free consultations. To learn more about free consultations and second opinions read this blog entry;
8. Do read fertility blogs like The Fertility Advocate! There are all kinds of fertility blogs on line and they are wonderful and different. It is a great way to feel like you are not alone -- get daily support and information -- and learn about the reproductive medicine community. There are doctor blogs, reproductive attorney blogs, patient blogs, and "Tell it like I see it blogs"!
Fertility Authority has a great blog community -- but there are lots of independent fertility bloggers out there, (I only linked to a few here) with so many unique stories and points of views. Go investigate community sites like Blogher, and Empowher. You will find just what you are looking for.....;
9. Do explore the websites of the fertility industry's professional organizations such as The American Society of Reproductive Medicine and The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals. These professional organization often have good patient information on them -- and you can get familiar with fertility practice guidelines there. Also the medical information may be more updated then the fact sheets that are on the patient organization's websites. I was just checking some of those out -- and I was shocked to see some fact sheets that were older than ten years old on some of these sites. Check for dates! Don't just assume that fact sheets are current just because they are there (uh-oh a "Don't" slipped in here!); and
10. Do Investigate your clinic's success rates by jacking into The SART Report. And remember when you are reviewing success rates that small differences mean nothing.
The Fertility Don'ts:
1. If you are trying to conceive and not having any luck. Don't forget to get the man tested first! Getting a semen analysis is simple. Getting pregnant is a fifty-fifty proposition;
2. If you are a man or a woman who is sexually active and not in relationship that is fluid bonded please don't depend on each other to provide birth control that will protect your from getting Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including HIV and HPV. The best protection is barrier protection and that means a condom for a man or a woman. The female condom is on the market and is a great product. Check it out. There are no excuses ladies to being safe, sane and responsible for your own body;
3. If you are a woman, don't postpone child bearing too long if you want to have children. Female fertility begins to decline at age 27;
4. Don't believe everything you read or hear about how people have their babies. Your friend or famous celebrity who has twins at age 50 using IVF -- DID use donor eggs -- no matter what she says;
5. Don't stop living while trying to conceive! Allow yourself a cup of coffee, a glass of red wine, chocolate and the occasional hot tub! It won't hurt you! Moderation is the key;
6. If you are seeking medical treatment for infertility don't think that your doctor is a deity. He or she isn't. The practice of reproductive medicine is as much an art as it is a science. If you are not getting pregnant or being treated the way you want to be treated -- get a second opinion!;
7. Don't do multiple cycles of Clomid or IUI's. Three cycles of Clomid are enough -- and if your doctor is recommending IUI -- please explore "Micro IVF";
8. Don't think that putting back more embryos is better than putting back one or two. It's not. Learn about Single Embryo Transfers;
9. Don't believe everything that you read on infertility patient message boards; and
10. Don't give up hope on having a family. Families come in so many ways -- just keep an open heart. And one day you will realize that you are in the heart of the family that you always dreamed about.
You read more of what Pamela Madsen has to say -- visit her blog The Fertility Advocate at http://www.thefertilityadvocate.com
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