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By April 13, 2016 - 3:51am

Well, I'm here because I don't know what else to do. I'm so alone and scared I find it hard to breath at times. But mostly, like a dumb shit, I sink into myself and want to die. I don't want to be this way!!!!!!! The truth is I don't know how. I know the difference between right and wrong but my life doesn't work like that. Every decision is a matter of how can I possibly live with this choice and this one is going to kill me eventually. There is no right answer. I am doubting my own sanity and have for a long time. Everything hurts so much. I want to be strong and live the life I want but from where I stand; life, people, and the things I find important don't exist. I'm surrounded by monsters who hurt me if I don't do what they want all the while taking my beating with gratitude. You may say I attract the bad, or naturally gravitate towards them. Then why hasn't a single person I've ever met been anything different? I don't know..... I'm not sure what I'm doing here. Because everything, hell anything, will get better? I'll ever find someone who's like minded? Would that even be a good thing? Who knows.. Thing is I'm so very frightened of failure because that's all I've ever done. I have no connection with anyone. Sometimes I wish I could break and live in denial but that thought is so completely unfair and it makes me angry. I don't know what to do.

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Please join our group to talk about how depression has affected your life, ask questions and gain support. This group is for any woman who is experiencing depression, or wants to help a friend or loved one.


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