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After admitting I have an Addiction, what's the next step?
By
mytantus
November 24, 2010 - 5:36pm
Am I strong enough to give up an addiction?
Its sex, to deal with my problems that come into my live I turn to sex with one partner. I want to change, it's time.
I admitted it's a problem, now what do I do?
By
mytantus
March 9, 2011 - 8:51pm
I have good days and bad days. Lately everything is just too overwhelming which is making tough days. I trying to just stayed focused with school. I'm fighting to figure how to manage all of the daily things that happen.
No I don't have it, but I just got the number to call them to get the card.
It seems like answers at my finger tips but at the sametime they are so far away I can't see them.
I fighting for change, but at the sametime I'm afraid.
This Comment
By
mytantus
February 16, 2011 - 10:01pm
Thanks Katie, addiction is a bad habit that eventually becomes our main focus at the moment. No it isn't good, but there is always help. For someone to change their life into a better one is awesome.
As for me, I got through the hectic Christmas season. Went through battles of fighting and feeling alone, but I fought to find something to turn my focus on something positive again.
I'm focusing on school and making goals for the future.
Just last week, I was talking to a person I look up to, a mentor. She didn't understand why I don't want to live in a college dorm instead of living at my boyfriends parents house. Then she said, "They way your saying things makes me think you were more abused than I thought." We were talking about how my mom using verbal abuse to get her way sometimes. That whole day I kept writing down on paper my thoughts and wanting to cry. I couldn't believe how the conversation took a turn like that, I also couldn't believe she said "I think it is the best if you live in a dorm." Finally I tell her I was sexually abused by a guy a couple years back. I felt sick all over again with the emotion and the memories. She said there is help and I said I know. It helped to talk about it. She asked when I was going back to counseling and I said soon.
Anyways, things haven't changed. Less fighting since the christmas season is over. I'm still having regular sex with my boyfriend and still live with him.
I'm not in counseling yet, which I know would help me figure things out. I'm waiting to get my health insurance card. I was told in be here in Jan. for the new year, but it hasn't came yet. I know my future will be better than my past and present. I'm still waiting.
This Comment
By
katiearnold777
January 27, 2011 - 8:34pm
Hi. I am an addict myself but my "drug of choice" was heroin. But.. I believe our addictions are alike in many ways. I was using it to cover up all of the bad emotions and problems and take them all away. It sounds like you have sex to feel good so you don't have to feel the bad emotions of what happened. I have been clean and drug free since Nov.3rd. I had to learn a lot of tools to deal with the reasons I used the drugs and find out what i was hiding from and confront it and find a way to cope with these feelings. I think it would really help you to talk about what happened to you and find ways of coping with it, if your unhappy that you are using sex to feel better. Not sure if what i'm saying will help you but from one addict to another, i know it helps to have non-partial people to talk to and get feelings out. good luck!
January 27, 2011 - 8:34pmThis Comment
By
mytantus
November 30, 2010 - 9:54pm
Yes, I am a young adult. Still trying to figuring things out and obviously I can't do it alone. I do have big decisions to make. And still figuring out what I do like and don't. What I can handle and don't.
It's strange why I'm so protective of this issue towards my family members knowing, but not afraid to tell others as long as they don't tell my family. Idk why this is.
I am stressed b/c more and more rules are made by my boyfriends parent. I hate it so much.
I used to be very good at knowing what's next. Now im stumbling trying to hold everything together. Make new goals and plans, so that Im not living day by day with guesses.
Since its to close to christmas season, Im going to try to hold out at my boyfriends until at least Jan. Also even tho I need counseling now cuz it would help so much. That's waiting until jan. too. We all know christmas season is very hetic. I just hope I can deal with everything until Jan. I need change now but things just don't work the way we need it too sometimes.
I'm so lost, 2nd guessing myself and haven't dealt with issue that happened 3 years ago is messing me up so bad. Overwhelmed with not wanting to have sex anymore right now and just feel like that's all I do anymore with my boyfriend. Communication is lacking between us two and not sure how it happen.
All I can do is just try to figure things out until I can go to counseling.
This Comment
By
mytantus
November 29, 2010 - 6:09pm
I masturbated when I didn't have a boyfriend and I know that masturbation is normal as well.
I am an open person, love to talk.
Yes, I do have a lot fear and I guess sometimes I get angry with my boyfriend too.
I want to talk to a counselor to deal with what happened but I made a promise to myself. That promise is I don't want any of my family members to know what happened 3 years ago. My fear is they somehow will find out if I go to counseling. I have a BIG family.
Even tho, I don't live with my family. I still have that fear. This is my life, not theirs.
I'm hurting and once one thing goes wrong then many things start to go wrong.
I live with my boyfriend and his parents. Except in July for a month I moved out. June he asked me get an apartment and I freaked out. I do have a mentor and I'm more willing to talk to her about things instead of my boyfriend. I can't be as open as I would like to be with him, I thought maybe I would get to that point. We used to have many things in common, but know it just seems to be sex.
I'm afraid to be alone. I fear that the same bad experience will happen again but also know I don't want to have sex anymore right now. I don't know if I want to still continue to date my boyfriend. I'm afraid of change.
I can move out, but that means I can never come back here since I already left once.
I don't know what to do? I'm not sure what is the right thing anymore. Sex isn't a good way to cope with problems. How can i go to counseling and feel safe that my family won't find out what happened to me?
November 29, 2010 - 6:09pmThis Comment
By
mytantus
November 28, 2010 - 8:57pm
I have been through many tough situations.
3 years ago (2008) I had a bad sex experience. After that experience, I started masturbating every once in a while to cope with fear and problems that came up. Then, November 2009, I started dating my boyfriend. 6 months into the relationship we started having sex. Sometimes I have sex with him to cope with things and other times it b/c we both want it.
Now it's to the point that most of the relationship is based on sex.
I haven't fully dealt with what happened three years ago. I know it's time to start to by going to counseling, but I feel to do that I will have to quit having regular sex.
I don't think my boyfriend and I can go backwards and not have sex in the relationship.
I'm know I'm strong enough to NOT go back to masturbating.
But, I'm afraid if I quit having regular sex then the bad sex experience will happen again. Even tho it is very unlikely.
In april 2010 I went to counseling for one month, but it wasn't about sex.
I'm afraid to go to counseling to talk about sex.
I'm afraid of being alone.
I used to never be afraid.
im having trouble sleeping and i have been thinking way too much
March 15, 2011 - 11:32pmlately i have been getting sick too
also set up counseling apt for next monday
yes tryin to take one day at a time for now
This Comment