The dog ate my homework. My Great-Great-Aunt Nettie died (for the third time) this year. I slipped and fell on the ice (in May). Just as teachers listen to some amazing stories, fitness instructors have heard some of the most creative excuses for missing workouts.
Here are some of my favorites:
1. Snuggie Vs. Lululemon
If it's dark when you get home from work, you’re tempted by your Snuggie and dog, instead of putting on your Lulu's while doing Downward Dog. Yep, I have actually had clients say it is too dark and they just want to be in their jammies.
2. Hung Over and Hung Out to Dry
This is a really popular one, especially for Saturday morning clients. As summertime approaches, it's also a favorite excuse for Monday morning as the weekend partying usually lasts an extra day. I’ve actually had someone say to me that they “need to dry out today.” Helloooo, how about sweating it out?
3. Manic Monday
So you were just in the middle of a dream at 6 a.m. on Monday, and it is time for a fresh or “manic” start. The choice is yours — hit snooze, or rise and shine in time for Sun Salutations. Monday morning is a biggie for excuses.
4. I am Detoxing
I am on a detox diet so I cannot work out at all as I am existing on 500 calories, or juice, or only drinking daikon-infused tea, taking coffee enemas, etc.
5. The Morning After
Too much of a good thing keeping you from your workouts? I've heard this one. A client said that she was too sore to work her abs because she was up all night “getting busy.”
6. Too Busy
Speaking of "busy" this is probably the number one excuse that comes in a variety of forms. I am too busy with my kids, social events, etc. I actually had someone tell me that it was “graduation and Communion party season” so she needed to cancel her Saturdays!
7. It's Girls’ Night
Message left for Joanne: “The girls are getting together for drinks and apps [appetizers, not functions on their smartphones] so I won’t be in Pilates class tonight.”
My reaction: “Hi, it's Joanne. Thanks for the heads up and the invitation or lack there of ...”
8. It's Too Nice Out
I live in Arizona, so this is not a typical excuse because it is always nice. However, when the weather is a bit cooler — hovering in the 70s and low 80s — people would rather hike or bike outside than be in the gym. In my hometown of Philly, the minute the weather hits 60 degrees (which by the way is now what I consider freezing) everyone puts on shorts and heads outside.
9. I don’t fit in my jeans
I don’t want to lift today because I need to fit into my skinny jeans this weekend and doing squats makes my thighs too fat.
10. Baby Blowout
Ok, I cannot tell you how many times as a mom of two little ones this has happened to me. Poop all over the back of an outfit, the car seat, etc. Everyone (well at least other moms) understands what this is like, but the truth is it does not take all that long to wipe up. As long as the baby is okay, just come a little late to your workout.
I once had to teach an aerobics class just minutes after rinsing baby vomit out of my hair. Actually it was my hair extensions, but still — a little rinse and a spritz of perfume and know one knew but me.
11. Tire Blowout
Speaking of blowouts — tire changes and car problems are other popular excuses. In Philly it was hitting a pothole. Here in Arizona, the extreme heat can cause car batteries to fail often. I did however have one “die-hard” client actually ride her daughter’s beach cruiser to class instead of missing her workout after she had car trouble.
Joanne Sgro-Killworth is a Television Fitness Expert, Certified Personal Trainer and Sport Nutritionist and Publicist. She is Certified in Pilates, Pre-natal/Post-Partum, Yoga and Senior Fitness. She specializes in Weight Loss, Post-Rehab and Post Cancer Training.
Joanne's fitness plans, recipes and lifestyle advice are available globally on her website http://www.happiwoman.com/ She resides in the Phoenix, AZ area with her husband and children, where she runs her fitness and publicity business, JSK PR, http://www.jskpr.com/
Reviewed April 22, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith