Why can't I have sex or orgasm?

By Anonymous April 29, 2017 - 4:44am

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Hi there. I'm a 20 year straight female. I don't know where else to look. I've been brought up as a Christian and to believe it to have sex before marriage or masterbate. I have tried to have sex with a guy in the past and could not get his penis in. It physically would not go in (using Lube too). I tried to masterbate and bought a dildo, vibrators and lubes. I can insert things that are small. I find it too painful to enter three fingers and two fingers in quite uncomfortable. I went to talk to a sexual health doctor and told her I thought I might have situational vaginismus but she had never heard of it. When I masterbate I get close to orgasm but then the feeling just before is too sensitive and i have to stop. I've tried reading erotica, watching porn or fantasising but it doesn't help. I want to know if perhaps my upbringing has brought on something or what. Please help because I can't have pleasure in my life from sex. Thanks

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Empowered

Helena Guide

Hi, Anon.

Thank you for reaching out to us, today.

You are certainly not alone. We have a few threads/discussions about this very subject, so definitely search around the EmpowHERsite. I can add the links to them, here, as I locate them. If the doctor you went to can't help you, can try another.

Your upbringing may very well be inhibiting you. Fear of sex, fear that you are are doing something wrong, etc. The worst thing to do is stress over this. If you are not relaxed during sex and your (only) goal is to achieve orgasm, you probably won't. Try to focus on what gives you pleasure, what arouses you. You can still have good sex. Below is a resource that may help.

http://www.webmd.com/women/features/taking-on-big-o-for-women#1

Helena

April 29, 2017 - 10:46am