What do you do when your family is different than everyone elses?

SusanC -- Yes! Those 'idealized' families are always fun to make fun of with their stilted dialogue and perfectly manicured lawns. Ugh. And I'm with you Evie, I wouldn't trade my situation either. It's great you were able to be honest with your parents and receive their love and support in return. For me, adoption is such a generous proposition. As far as I'm concerned, you and I, Evie are very fortunate. And you said these are two subjects you could go on and on about ... What else would be important to share?

I too am adopted and to top it off I am a Gay. Two topics far from being "Normal" growing up in the late 6o's though 80"s. I credit my parents for all the love and support they have given me and my sister who is also adpoted. We were raised to be respectful of everyone regardless what there situation is, where they come from or what color there skin was.

My parents went through 5 miscarriages in their first 7 years of marriage. They wanted kids more thatn life itself. So they went with the option of adopting. They first told my sister and I when we were old enough to comprehend where kids came from.

I do remember my Mom alwasy saying that our situation was necessary to be kept within the family. Back then adoption was not readily discussed as it is today. Our extended family new my sister and I were adopted and why. But as for friends... it was just kept under the carpet. I think I was in Jr. High or High School before I ever openly discussed it with friends.

I will tell you that I am so proud to be the daughter of my parents that I openly discuss adoption with all my friends especially my gay friends who want kids and who are in the process of adopting or who have adopted. I think it is the greatest gift you can give to a child or to yourself. There are so many young Moms out there who just aren't ready to be Moms. The best scenario if you can't raise a child is to give them up for adoption because there are so many couples, single parents, Gay and Straight willing to adopt for many positive reasons.

On the other subject of being Gay and coming out to my Hispanic,adopted parents (I am also Hispanic,) was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And it shouldn't have been. But again we are talking about what was considered normal in the past. It took me ten years of being out on my own before I ever braved telling my parents I was Gay. My biggest fear was I thought they would want to disown me. My parents are old school. I knew it wouldn't be easy for them to understand that being gay was not a choice. It is who I am. Why would I chose to go against the norm of society. I waited until I was almost 30 to tell them. Like expected they had a hard time with it at first. But they have come full circle with it. They know I have a great circle of friends who most of which are Gay. Many of whom are becoming adoptive parents. They just wish me the best and give me all their love and support. I would not trade my situation for anything in the world. I have never looked at my parents as anything other than my "Natural Parents" The only time I get reminded that I am adopted is when answering medical questions. I do not know the medical history of the biological mother/father. I have chosen to take whatever life has to offer. I take the necessary medical precautions. I go in for annual exams regularly. Sorry I was so long winded. These are two subjects I could go on for hours about.

Growing up, I guess you can say I belonged to one of those not-so-normal families. The reason? I was adopted. And the hook? I was a brown-eyed brunette adopted by two blue-eyed, blonde parents who had a blue-eyed, blonde son.

Because my difference was something we couldn't hide, our plan was to handle everything with openness. For example, when making introductions, my mother -- ever the anticipator -- pointed out that I was adopted. I never felt uncomfortable about it and for me (unlike other adoptees I have met) there wasn't any shame. There was a brief period in high school where, like everyone else, I wanted to fit in and was probably a little more self-conscious, but for the most part, I didn't care.

On the upside, I think I embraced my 'different status' which helped me embrace diversity early on. If the color of my eyes and hair didn't matter when it came to family, why should the color of someone's skin? Their culture? Their religion? Now, I belong to another not-so-normal family in that my husband and I are from two different countries, two different cultures and two different races.

The best part is we now embrace our differences together.

The only downside was that in growing up, I thought the term "adopted" was a description for brown-eyed brunettes, much the same way "albino" is used for those with pale skin and light eyes. Soon, I was calling other little boys and girls with similarly dark features adopted. Oh the confusion!