No kissing etc.

By Anonymous February 22, 2020 - 9:20pm

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My boyfriend and I are together for 3 years now and we love each other a lot. But since the first date, he didn’t kiss me (like lovers do). During normal daylight I get lots of little kisses on my cheek or mouth, but without tongue. He also keeps it very simple when we have sex. No kisses on my body, no stroking, touching - just the physical act. After several conversations where I explained my feelings and wishes, he started penetrating my nipples and between my legs (with his hand) for a couple of minutes, staying in a lying position. I on my side always tried to make it as wonderful as possible for him what he really enjoys. I think it is very unfair of him. I just want to be pampered once in a while like I do it to him (every time). His answer to my questions was that he is not the type of person to do the things I wish.

Maybe it is interesting to know that he is very very jealous. A couple of weeks ago, I told him, that a (married) guy, who consulted me with renovating a house, seems to like me a lot and is very very helpful. He forced me to stop every kind of contact towards him and I had to quit him and tell him, that he is not allowed to contact me anymore.
So I think, the Problem is, that my friend is so much afraid to loose me that he is so jealous on the one hand and on the other hand he avoids emotional contact to me like kissing etc. What do you think and what can I do?

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Helena Guide

Hello, Anon!

Thank you for posting.

Jealousy can make a person think they can control you, who you see, where you go. It's never helpful in a relationship. You need trust in a relationship or ultimately it won't work.

It's good you talked with your boyfriend about what you need and how you feel. Many women don't. However, talking does not always solve the problem if he can't or won't give you what you need. You have put 3 years into this relationship, you need to decide, moving forward, if he is the right partner for you. Loving a person and being compatible with that person is not always a given. Only you can decide what is right for you and what will make you happy in the long run.

best,

Helena

February 23, 2020 - 7:01am