My boyfriend never wants to have sex. Advice PLEASE

By Anonymous January 20, 2019 - 6:57am

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Well, i have been with my boyfriend for about 4.5 years now. Almost all of which we have worked the same exact schedule at the same job and lived together. He is my best friend and we get along wonderfly. The one thing we do fight about is sex. Im 24 and he is 34. We have sex about once a month or less, and its almost only ever when i initiate it. I try to talk about it, and he either doesnt want to talk about it, or somehow makes me feel bad. And then when we do it almost makes me feel like its a chore for him, like he doesnt enjoy it. He assures me that its not me. He tells me all the time i am the sexiest woman he has ever met. And that i am the best thing that has ever happened to him. This has been going on for years now, and i feel like lur relationship is perfect in every other way, but this issue is single handedly ruining our relationship. It may sound shallow and sex isnt everything... But its important to me

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Anonymous

I can’t believe (really can’t believe you’re a woman)a woman is going through something like that it’s astonishing that a man isn’t all I’m a sex addict I only want to have sex with my wife constantly but I’m sure all women know that’s not going to happen, I’m always trying to get her in the mood but she fights against how I’m always trying... To have sex I’m 41 she’s 47. I’m totally against cheating but what I’m doing to satisfy myself feels like cheating to me, and being faithful and patient waiting for her to come around is just killing my spirits so I turn to pleasuring myself. I just don’t know how to help her get comfortable with sex so she would let me love her.

June 3, 2019 - 2:49pm

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Helena Guide

Hello, Anon. Thank you for writing.

Sex, for most couples, is an important part of the relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with the person you love. You may need to rethink this relationship and perhaps move on if it's not something you are willing to do without. And should not have to do without. Below is a link to an ongoing thread on this subject. You can read through the comments, there are many! Or post there as well.

https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-boyfriend-never-wants-have-sex-me-its-killing-me

Helena

January 20, 2019 - 7:37am