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I've had no sex drive for 2 years.

By Anonymous May 19, 2011 - 7:13am
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I went on BC (Yaz)a few months before my wedding ( I was 19.) A few weeks later I started noticing a major shift in my labido, I still wanted sex but not near as often. Over time it got lower and lower, maybe I'd want to a few times a month or every other month. I'd still do it for the sake of my husband but it wasn't enjoyable. I quit BC in April of 2010. Months went by and still no drive. Its May of 2011 now and we are expecting our first child in Oct. but I still have no drive. And now we rarely ever do anything intimate since we finally got pregnant. And when I do, do it its just for him and it's like the worse minutes of my life. What a way to start out a young marriage. I love my husband so so so much and I'm so lucky he's understandable. I've explained to him many times that it has nothing to do with him. I'm just so frusterated with myself. And of course I really can't go to the Dr. to have my hormones checked since I'm pregnant. A week and a half before I was pregnant I did go in to get my blood levels tested because I thought I might have hypothyroid, all my levels came out fine but I was boarder line hypo but once I found out I was expecting, we figured I was boarder line due to the fact of my pregnancy hormones. What should I do after our baby is born? I know I need to talk to my Dr. but any suggestions will help. Thanks

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Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for your question and for finding EmpowHER. The doctor will want to examine you to determine if there is a medical reason for your low libido. In the meantime, there are things you can do at home to try to maintain intimacy (with or without sex) with your husband. Pregnancy no doubt messes with your hormones, and also with your emotions. Navigating the waters can be tough, so ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist if needed, or join a support group for new moms. Do you work outside of your home? Do you feel like you have a good support system among family and friends? These things will be crucial especially once the baby comes, but it also is important for day-to-day happiness and to feel self-assured. Bear in mind I'm not a therapist or doctor. I've just been through pregnancy, birth control, and similar situations. It's normal for your libido to drop a little as your relationship changes and evolves, but if it is bothersome for you, you definitely should ask your doctor for help. You may not want to wait until after the pregnancy is over, so you can get it on your doctor's radar, and work on strengthening those bonds with your husband while it's still just the two of you (and of course your belly). :)
Here are some articles and tips for maintaining intimacy and about low libido that may provide some insight:
Low Libido Advocacy Sheet, and Mayoclinic.com: Low Sex Drive in Women (Treatments)
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.

May 19, 2011 - 7:41am
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