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Hi guys this is my first time ever in this site and it's my first question? I am so happy I found this website because I'm ashamed to tell family and friends about what's going on in my life as I feel they will laugh at me and judge me.
Here I go,
I have been knowing a guy for 6 years now going on 7 soon. I started dating him two years ago. In the past year my relationship with him has been like a crazy rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs.
I don't know nothing about him regarding his past life, nor from any of his family members. When I bring up questions about his family he replies my family is in Brasil. I ask him how come you never call your loved ones nor your parents he replies I do! But never in the past six years have I heard him talk to anyone in his family. He spends the holidays with me and never calls his family back home on those special dates. To me that is weird because I know people from Brasil love and care so much about their loved ones especially if they are far away. He tells me he has an uncle who lives 30 minutes from where he does but I know he is lying because when I ask him when are you going to introduce me to your uncle his reply is no I am not because my uncle is such a horrific sour guy who doesn't even smile at his loved ones. I have asked him call your mom to say Merry Xmas on that day he says no because she is fine and I don't want to bother her! I don't know what the reason he is so protective with his family but I would sure love to find out. He doesn't even have an ID when I ask him to get an ID he says no because where I used to live they robed up the place and all the papers were stolen. I then tell him is so simple call your family and tell them to send you a duplicate, he then says my family is not in Rio at the time they are in the Amazons for a long time. I honestly don't know how to let him go I know he is hiding something and I wish I can find out but I can't seem to.
That is not the worst part there is more. For the past four months he has not touch me sexually when I bring up the topic he says that is all you think about I am very stressed out. Last week he told me to reset his phone and I did I found it all his history of Anal Sex Porn. He is a porn addict. I am getting to the point of finding me a guy who will appreciate me and not hide his past from me. I don't think is fair because I have introduced him to all my family members but he hides me from his.
Someone with a similar situation please give me advice on how you got out of a situation like this?
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Hello and welcome to EmpowHer,
September 3, 2016 - 1:29pmAlmost 7 years is more than enough time for him to open up about his past and his family. Since he has not done so yet, I doubt he ever will.
I advise you not to go off what other people tell you is important in a relationship. If you really want to be with someone who is open about his past and family relationships, you should definitely leave him. If it is not that important to you, try to work it out.
The first step to leaving a relationship is to plan it out without necessarily telling anyone except people who can help you professionally. If you need financial advise, see a lawyer. If you need emotional support see a therapist who will not judge you and has no person attachment to the situation.
Do not tell him anything until your path separate from him is clear and planned. Then explain to him why you must go and leave quickly.
Be aware that you may feel emotionally confused as you start to separate your heart from him. You will have the promise of being happy with someone else, but at the same time you will feel a certain heartbreak for him even though he did not give you want you wanted. This is normal. Be patient with yourself and keep good counselors around you so that you can keep a clear head as you move forward.
Faith
This Comment
Thanks so much and you are so right. It will be hard but I will have to do it.
September 3, 2016 - 3:48pmThis Comment