Can't get any pleasure from masturbation?

Thank you Helena and anon(s)! (I'm the original anon poster). Feeling relieved and a lot better for having read your replies. Thank you for being kind, nonjudgmental and offering really helpful suggestions.

Dear Anonymous,
It is NOT TRUE that not reaching orgasm when you masturbate defines whether you'll come when you have sex.
The sexual lives of women is differente from that of men. You may need his words, his touch to get feelings this. It's totally normal.

I've experienced orgasms from both things -- sex and masturbation.

The reason why you may have such a negative experience with masturbation is that you are 1) you may have a built-up mechanism that doesn't see it as proper, 2) you can't masturbate with your boyfriend. ? If you CAN .... that is if he is willing to write you things that let you do it when you are alone, or tape your voices and noises when you make out and whatever, you can "re-enact" the experience.
Have something tangible that he is giving to you so that you can explore yourself.

Another thing, at your age and not having had intercourse yet is normal. You haven't experienced many things, don't worry you will. Everyone matures sexually. It doesn't automatically happen just because you lose your virginity. Not at all! It takes development. Don't worry.

And if masturbation makes you upset and angry, don't do it -- if one isn't into it, one can never force onself to orgasm. It is like sleep. We do not force ourselves to sleep, we fall asleep. We do not force ourselves to breathe, it just happens.

Sex is very natural, and I guarantee that if you are hot with your BF now, when you are finally in the position that you guys are allowed to actually do it, you'll come in time. Maybe the first time may be painful. It may take a few tries to get used to the newness of sex. But don't worry !!!

Nobody needs to masturbate first to be iniatiated into sex later. False.

If it's a chore to you , please don't do it.... If you WANT to , do it for pleasure and tell your boyfriend you want him to help you. Maybe he doesn't need to touch or see you, but as a guy he probably has no trouble at all touching himself. Being a good man and your future husband , he should be willing to help you with your needs on the phone, or something like that. You getting this?

You will be fine. Trust me. It's as easy as breathing when you 're doing it with your husband (or boyfriend) if the bond really is there and both of you are physically healthy, which it seems you are.

Good luck!

Hi, Anon.

Thank you for reaching out to us.

Orgasm can be of two types in women-vaginal and clitoral. Depending on the stimulus received, a woman can reach either of it. Some women need both to orgasm. It's personal and different for each woman. Some women have good sex lives who don't masturbate. So, I'd not let something you read influence you in this way.

Being stressed about this will only make matters worse. I would stop (for now) trying to masturbate and get pleasure from being with your boyfriend which you say you do.

Helena