You sound like you are doing well, if you are able to recognize your anger, and pinpoint a major cause of not being able to deal with it effectively (you mentioned when you have a lot on your plate at one time). When the demands in life are more than your current resources (including time, money, patience, sleep/rest, friends, etc.), it is easy to become overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed and angry.
One idea is to make sure that you have enough resources in reserve, in order to help add a buffer to those times that WILL be taxing on you; sometimes just planning that stressful times are bound to happen can help you deal with them more effectively in the future. Ways to make sure you have enough resources for yourself include: getting plenty of rest each night, having a good support system, taking time for yourself to be alone, having fun with friends and family, feeling productive with career or in society, having a pro-active approach to life, being a good friend, exercising, eating healthy...the list can go on!
One note about support systems: they vary by person, and the best one I've heard about includes at least one of each of the following: - Informational support. The friend who "knows it all", and can give you information or resources to help you solve a problem. - Social support. The friend who can distract you, help you have fun and get away from your problems; it can help give you a different perspective when you are not over-thinking your anger. - Emotional support. The friend who you can call at 3am and cry on the phone, vent and not worry about them telling you how to fix it; they are just here to listen. - Resourceful support. The friend who may not want to listen to your personal stories, but will drive you to the auto mechanic to get your car fixed (so, at least one thing is off your plate, and helps indirectly with giving you more time to work out your other emotional distresses).
Of course, there are other types of support systems; one person may have several of these qualities, and it is important to know WHICH type of friend each person is, so that you are not disappointed.
In dealing specifically with anger, one of the books I read on journaling (mentioned above as a good way to deal with emotions) is called, Opening Up. The book discusses the research and "why" behind journaling, for the skeptic or "non-journaling" type.
A book that helped me immensely when I was going through a tough time with my emotions is called, Taming the Gremlin. I can not say enough about this book: it is short, to the point, and a great way to think about your emotions...I often felt helpless and ruled by my emotions; this book helps you think about emotions as "gremlins" that you put a name and identity to, and therefore, helps put them in their place and deal with them effectively.
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You sound like you are doing well, if you are able to recognize your anger, and pinpoint a major cause of not being able to deal with it effectively (you mentioned when you have a lot on your plate at one time). When the demands in life are more than your current resources (including time, money, patience, sleep/rest, friends, etc.), it is easy to become overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed and angry.
One idea is to make sure that you have enough resources in reserve, in order to help add a buffer to those times that WILL be taxing on you; sometimes just planning that stressful times are bound to happen can help you deal with them more effectively in the future. Ways to make sure you have enough resources for yourself include: getting plenty of rest each night, having a good support system, taking time for yourself to be alone, having fun with friends and family, feeling productive with career or in society, having a pro-active approach to life, being a good friend, exercising, eating healthy...the list can go on!
One note about support systems: they vary by person, and the best one I've heard about includes at least one of each of the following:
- Informational support. The friend who "knows it all", and can give you information or resources to help you solve a problem.
- Social support. The friend who can distract you, help you have fun and get away from your problems; it can help give you a different perspective when you are not over-thinking your anger.
- Emotional support. The friend who you can call at 3am and cry on the phone, vent and not worry about them telling you how to fix it; they are just here to listen.
- Resourceful support. The friend who may not want to listen to your personal stories, but will drive you to the auto mechanic to get your car fixed (so, at least one thing is off your plate, and helps indirectly with giving you more time to work out your other emotional distresses).
Of course, there are other types of support systems; one person may have several of these qualities, and it is important to know WHICH type of friend each person is, so that you are not disappointed.
In dealing specifically with anger, one of the books I read on journaling (mentioned above as a good way to deal with emotions) is called, Opening Up. The book discusses the research and "why" behind journaling, for the skeptic or "non-journaling" type.
A book that helped me immensely when I was going through a tough time with my emotions is called, Taming the Gremlin. I can not say enough about this book: it is short, to the point, and a great way to think about your emotions...I often felt helpless and ruled by my emotions; this book helps you think about emotions as "gremlins" that you put a name and identity to, and therefore, helps put them in their place and deal with them effectively.
June 29, 2008 - 1:18pmThis Comment
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