What a great story! As I read your blog, a few questions came to mind that I would love your perspective, and answers, on. I'm asking these questions, as I'm assuming many other young women out there have some of the same questions.
When I was in high school, I was more worried about what the other girls, and potential boyfriends, thought about me not having sex, than caring about my health or emotional well-being. It wasn't exactly competition; I would never had agreed that it was "peer pressure" at the time..but maybe it was some kind of "social norm" that I perceived was out there: it's lame, but: "everyone's doing "it" and I don't want to be left out! What are your thoughts and experiences with feeling "left out", since you mentioned you are one of only two females in your social circle who have decided to remain abstinent?
So, if you're okay with answering that question...I've got a few more tougher questions for you! :-)
1. You are getting married at 18 years old, this summer. You've probably been told that it "sounds young" by some people (probably by people who "sound old"!) The tough question: if you decided to have sex before marriage, would you be getting married at a (relatively) young age?
2. You mention that you having sex is "a gift". I've never understood this analogy, as I don't think men decide to not have sex because they are waiting to give someone their gift; so it's primarily a female feeling? How do you see the act of sex as a gift to someone?
My last question/thought:
I decided to not wait until marriage to have sex, as I felt it was important to get to know the person in every way--emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually, mentally, socially, intellectually, etc---before we got married. I am curious on your feelings about this, as many people DO wait until marriage to have sex with their partner, and I guess it made me nervous to have something I didn't know about the person. What are your thoughts on this?
Anyways...thanks for sharing your story! I think your answers to these questions can help ease the minds of other women concerned with questions related to sexual partners and when/if to have sex. You are absolutely doing the right thing in waiting until your mind, body and spirit are in agreement that "it" is the right thing for you and your partner! You sound extremely thoughtful and caring about yourself and your body...both wonderful attributes that many women are struggling with.
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What a great story! As I read your blog, a few questions came to mind that I would love your perspective, and answers, on. I'm asking these questions, as I'm assuming many other young women out there have some of the same questions.
When I was in high school, I was more worried about what the other girls, and potential boyfriends, thought about me not having sex, than caring about my health or emotional well-being. It wasn't exactly competition; I would never had agreed that it was "peer pressure" at the time..but maybe it was some kind of "social norm" that I perceived was out there: it's lame, but: "everyone's doing "it" and I don't want to be left out! What are your thoughts and experiences with feeling "left out", since you mentioned you are one of only two females in your social circle who have decided to remain abstinent?
So, if you're okay with answering that question...I've got a few more tougher questions for you! :-)
1. You are getting married at 18 years old, this summer. You've probably been told that it "sounds young" by some people (probably by people who "sound old"!) The tough question: if you decided to have sex before marriage, would you be getting married at a (relatively) young age?
2. You mention that you having sex is "a gift". I've never understood this analogy, as I don't think men decide to not have sex because they are waiting to give someone their gift; so it's primarily a female feeling? How do you see the act of sex as a gift to someone?
My last question/thought:
I decided to not wait until marriage to have sex, as I felt it was important to get to know the person in every way--emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually, mentally, socially, intellectually, etc---before we got married. I am curious on your feelings about this, as many people DO wait until marriage to have sex with their partner, and I guess it made me nervous to have something I didn't know about the person. What are your thoughts on this?
Anyways...thanks for sharing your story! I think your answers to these questions can help ease the minds of other women concerned with questions related to sexual partners and when/if to have sex. You are absolutely doing the right thing in waiting until your mind, body and spirit are in agreement that "it" is the right thing for you and your partner! You sound extremely thoughtful and caring about yourself and your body...both wonderful attributes that many women are struggling with.
April 10, 2008 - 2:36pmThis Comment
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