I was thinking that if he is not the best communicator, that he may be using this as a way to communicate with you.
I would assume that he knows you are upset about the lack of physical intimacy, and he may feel that your numerous kisses before going to sleep are not just "innocent, good night" kisses, but that they are "I need more from you" kisses. Please give him the "space" to be honest and tell you: "yeah---I do wipe off your kisses because I don't want you 'trying' anything, or expecting sex or cuddling or romance or any 'performance' or 'proof of my love' from me right now...I'm tired, don't feel like I can give you what you need, and that is my reaction when I feel like your kisses mean something more".
Of course, he probably won't be this upfront, but please give him the option to let you know if there is more meaning behind the "wipe", and that you are OK to hear it. Even if it is something as profound as this, there is no way to make it better unless you have all of the information. It could also be a reflex of his, with no meaning whatsoever, so be OK with this answer, too!
Perhaps to amend my previous script, instead of saying "are you grossed out by my leftover kiss", you could receive a better answer from him if you say, "...is this a reflex, too much chapstick or are you trying to nonverbally tell me that you aren't in the mood for anything more?"
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Additional thought:
I was thinking that if he is not the best communicator, that he may be using this as a way to communicate with you.
I would assume that he knows you are upset about the lack of physical intimacy, and he may feel that your numerous kisses before going to sleep are not just "innocent, good night" kisses, but that they are "I need more from you" kisses. Please give him the "space" to be honest and tell you: "yeah---I do wipe off your kisses because I don't want you 'trying' anything, or expecting sex or cuddling or romance or any 'performance' or 'proof of my love' from me right now...I'm tired, don't feel like I can give you what you need, and that is my reaction when I feel like your kisses mean something more".
Of course, he probably won't be this upfront, but please give him the option to let you know if there is more meaning behind the "wipe", and that you are OK to hear it. Even if it is something as profound as this, there is no way to make it better unless you have all of the information. It could also be a reflex of his, with no meaning whatsoever, so be OK with this answer, too!
Perhaps to amend my previous script, instead of saying "are you grossed out by my leftover kiss", you could receive a better answer from him if you say, "...is this a reflex, too much chapstick or are you trying to nonverbally tell me that you aren't in the mood for anything more?"
Let us know how your talk goes!
March 11, 2010 - 1:20pmThis Comment
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