Have you talked with him about your feelings? Have you asked him what his ideal physical relationship would be (say, if he weren't tired, etc.), and then share with him what your ideal is? You two can intimately connect by talking about your intimacy; what your wishes are, what physical contact means to you, etc. If you both want the same thing...great! If you both want the same thing, but "real life" is in the way, then you can talk about ways to help each other create your mutual "ideal" physical relationship. And, if you both desire different things, then you can talk about how you can both meet (most) of each other's needs and/or compromise.
Please know...it is such a horrible myth that "men want to have sex all the time", just as there are equally harmful myths about women's sexuality. Believing in these myths only perpetuate stereotypes that men should be one way with sex, and women should be another way. If you believe in the male stereotype, then I would assume you would believe in the popular female stereotype: "women don't like sex." Obviously, that's not true for you, right?!
Men have different emotions, too, and to put them in a narrow box, assuming they always want sex, or should always be easily excitable, is not fair to them. Men are not sex objects, just like women are not, and can be tired, cranky, bored, cuddly, insecure, bloated/gassy...on and on...that would make them not exactly in the mood for a romp in the bedroom.
Talk with him, and really listen, about what he wants in his relationship with you in all aspects (including the physical intimacy), and you may really learn something about him! Also learn what other ways he enjoys being physically intimate with you besides intercourse and "performing"; he may feel that having sex with you means he has to perform and show you that he loves you. You can also think about other ways in which you can feel loved by him.
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ASpeas,
Have you talked with him about your feelings? Have you asked him what his ideal physical relationship would be (say, if he weren't tired, etc.), and then share with him what your ideal is? You two can intimately connect by talking about your intimacy; what your wishes are, what physical contact means to you, etc. If you both want the same thing...great! If you both want the same thing, but "real life" is in the way, then you can talk about ways to help each other create your mutual "ideal" physical relationship. And, if you both desire different things, then you can talk about how you can both meet (most) of each other's needs and/or compromise.
Please know...it is such a horrible myth that "men want to have sex all the time", just as there are equally harmful myths about women's sexuality. Believing in these myths only perpetuate stereotypes that men should be one way with sex, and women should be another way. If you believe in the male stereotype, then I would assume you would believe in the popular female stereotype: "women don't like sex." Obviously, that's not true for you, right?!
Men have different emotions, too, and to put them in a narrow box, assuming they always want sex, or should always be easily excitable, is not fair to them. Men are not sex objects, just like women are not, and can be tired, cranky, bored, cuddly, insecure, bloated/gassy...on and on...that would make them not exactly in the mood for a romp in the bedroom.
Talk with him, and really listen, about what he wants in his relationship with you in all aspects (including the physical intimacy), and you may really learn something about him! Also learn what other ways he enjoys being physically intimate with you besides intercourse and "performing"; he may feel that having sex with you means he has to perform and show you that he loves you. You can also think about other ways in which you can feel loved by him.
March 9, 2010 - 1:37pmThis Comment
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