During a primetime exclusive with Larry King, Elizabeth Edwards broke her silence about her husband’s affair, their break-up and her cancer.
At 60, Edwards has had to deal with the loss of her marriage, loss of a child and now the possibility of her own life.
Edwards said, ʺI try really not to focus on what the end is going to look like.ʺ Edwards tells People Magazine her cancer is spreading and tumors are popping up elsewhere in her body, including a particularly painful one in her hip. People says she "shares how her cancer has gotten worse with tumors in her legs, spine and skull."
"It's less frightening than you think; it can't migrate to your brain," People quotes her as saying.
On dealing with pain, Edwards said, ʺI do not attach myself to the pain.ʺ
While promoting her New York Times best-seller ʺResilienceʺ (now available in paperback), Edwards discusses how she embraces adversity and sees it as a gift.
Edwards says it was not easy to leave her husband in the wake of the two-time presidential contender's infidelity.
Edwards says in the updated version of her book released Tuesday that she spent two years trying to reinvent her role as a wife so that they could stay together despite the affair. Edwards says in "Resilience" that it was not easy to leave the marriage because she saw 30 years of memories in him. They were law school sweethearts who got married just days after they took the bar exam together in 1977. They had four children together, including a son who died at 16.
But she says the "tender thread" holding the family together unraveled at the very end of 2009.
"So when I close the door on the John of today, I also had to say good-bye to that sweet man whom I had loved for so long," she writes.
"One day, I did not want to try anymore," Edwards said.
Currently, Edwards has a separation agreement with her husband.
Clearly Edwards wants to move on with her life.
ʺIt is important to me that my children have a positive relationship with their father. My children are going to need it and I want them to have that relationship,ʺ said Edwards.
And, interestingly enough Edwards said, ʺI am not perfect. I made mistakes and I am going to make mistakes. I want people to see me as a moral person who tries to make the right decision.ʺ
About working again, Edwards says, "Nobody wants to hire the girl with cancer." As for dating, "It would surprise me even more if someone fell in love with me."
She says they are selling their $5.5 million mansion in Chapel Hill because their "dream house" just doesn't have the same meaning anymore.
Though no divorce is planned, she'd allow John Edwards to have one if he wanted to remarry.
She and John are even going on a trip to Japan to show the children where she grew up. She says it will be helpful to have John along, but the sleeping arrangements will be very different.
Elizabeth Edwards equals resilience.
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