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In the last month, two things have happened that left me with that “duh, doe in head lights” expression and wondering if I was the only woman on earth who is genuinely happy that God did not see fit to give me Double Ds.
The first was my daughter confiding that her boyfriend had agreed to pay for implants so that she would not have to worry about breast cancer. When two of my sisters did this, vanity was involved, as none of the women in my extended family are well-endowed or have had breast cancer, but my daughter has undergone breast reduction surgery, so this left me wondering why she was worried about cancer. Tristan is a beautiful, well-shaped woman of 33, and is generally more concerned with appearance than she is with physical side effects, health concerns or most things healthy. This came out of left field.
The second, and you’re going to love this one, I did. My husband came in Friday afternoon telling me to remind him to shave before work on Monday. His beard grows slowly and he has to shave less often than most men, but there were reasons that his boss suggested that he and his fellow lab technician shave and spruce up. Her name is (fill in the blank). She’s a technician and apparently well endowed, and for whatever reason men do these things, their boss encouraged them to look their best for the visit from this lady. Okay, telling me to remember to tell anyone anything is folly; in the first degree…I barely remember my name most days. However, come Monday morning, my husband remembered all by himself and was Texas “perty” for the day. My husband, as is witness by his marrying a woman so under-endowed, is not a breast man, but there are men who go “ga-ga” at the very sight of a large- breasted woman.
I have been told, large breasts are extremely uncomfortable, they make a good many tasks difficult to perform and they leave strap impressions in the shoulder region. It’s no wonder that I have not felt slighted by having not been so well-developed, but these are serious complaints among women with large breasts and they can cause complications later in life. The Mayo Clinic Web site has a good deal of information for women who might wish to consult a doctor about breast reduction. As always, it’s important to remember that how you feel about your body has a direct connection to how your body makes you feel.
And try to remember that you should not hate large-breasted women. In the event that you’re on an ocean liner, or a plane that goes down in the ocean, women with large breasts make great floatation devices. That’s a joke, but hating on a size-by-size scale is so unattractive. Large or small, we’re all variables on the same design.
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The anthropological intricacies of sexual attractiveness as it pertains to female breast size is rather interesting. As functional apparatus it generally doesn't matter much (with few notable exceptions) really how small or large they are as they will nevertheless fulfill their biological function of producing milk when called upon to do so. Notwithstanding that functional unimportance of breast size the "Size" of a woman's breasts can in a some measure determine her relative attractiveness to males. Generally speaking males, and indeed females in modern western culture have been socialized, and enculturated to find larger as opposed to smaller breasts to be more attractive, however this was not and is not the same in other cultures, nor has it always been the case at other times throughout history.
Perhaps if one of the Gods had designed things as the writer above has indicated, it might have been wiser to have the females breasts grow, and shrink in relationship to the reproductive stages of the female. No breasts until needed, and then they grow very large to indicate fertility to attract mates. After mating and pregnancy they would adjust to the optimal size for feeding the young, and after the reproductive years the breasts would again shrink down to firm perfectly formed manageable teenage sized breasts which would not be prone to cancer and unlikely to drag on the ground. The gods had nothing to do with this bad design!
June 30, 2009 - 10:50amThis Comment