Preparing for my first naturopathic appointment was an ordeal.

This preparation began weeks before my actual appointment. I had a dozen pages of information to fill out. I could only spend 10 minutes at a time on them.

By the end of those 10 minutes, I would be panting, with a seized-up, squirming, pulsating brain, my hand no longer able to manipulate a pen, arms tingling with fireworks from this ... exertion. (sigh)

Oftentimes I would go to bed for the rest of the day while my body and brain settled back down from their shattered state.

I was looking forward to / not looking forward to this appointment. I had met Dr. Kelly Upcott before.

She had been accepting of my bizarre description of my symptoms. Patient as I fumbled for words, as I sat dumbly trying to connect my fractured thinking, as we both waited for the startled and scattered flock of thoughts to settle. And I would haltingly continue my litany of limitations.

She was optimistic for me, where I was not for myself, confident that healing was most certainly possible in my future.

I wanted to see her again, but I was also overwhelmed at the enormity of the physical and mental work it would require, to get there, participate as fully as I could, and get back home.

The day of my appointment, my husband Alan drove me to Dr. Upcott's office. I fumbled my way into the lobby, to the desk, and let them know I was there. I found my way to a chair, sat with eyes closed and tried to breathe my way to some homeostasis (didn't work).

In her office I asked for something for the arms of my chair to buffer my elbows. Both arms were sore, especially my right one. I'd had severe tendonitis for seven months.

She gave me pillows for my punky elbows and that helped. Her easy, accepting manner soothed me. I tried to settle myself, relax and pay attention as our appointment began.

[End of Part 1]

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I spent 15 years losing the battle against CFS. Two years ago, I found treatment that worked for me, and now I am making a comeback.