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Q: 

why does a young man stop having sex with his girlfriend?

By Anonymous October 14, 2010 - 2:08pm
 
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HI,
I'VE BEEN READING A LOT OF ANSWERS ABOUT THIS KIND OF QUESTIONS. BUT IT DOESNT FIT WITH WHATS HAPPENING TO ME.
MY BF JUST ARRIVED FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY JUST TO BE WITH ME. AFTER A YEAR OF BEING APART WE ARE NOW LIVIGN TOGETHER IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. THE FIRST DAY HE ARRIVED WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE SEX, I WAS PRACTICALY BEGGING SO THAT HE WOULD HAVE, BUT HE KEPT SAYING HE WAS TIRED, SO I SAID OK, IT WAS A LONG TRIP ETC ETC....THE FIRST MONTH WE USED TO FIGHT A LOT OVER THIS, CAUSE HE NEVER WANTED TO HAVE SEX, AND I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD HE COME FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY TO BE WITH ME, AND NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX. HE IS A VERY LOVING PERSON, ATENTIVE.....BUT HE JUST DOESNT WANT TO HAVE SEX. WE ARE LIVIGN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 4 MONTHS NOW. AND SOME TIMES HE HAVE SEX EVEN TWISE A DAY, BUT THEN WE CAN GO ON FOR 2 WEEKS AND NOT HAVE ANY.I TALKED TO HIM AND TRIED TO GET WHATEVER PROBLEM HE HAS, BUT HE SAYS HE THERE IS NOTHING, THAT HE JUST DOESNT FEEL LIKE HAVING.I TRIED PUTTING A SEXY NIGHT GOWND AND YEAH IT WORKED THAT NIGHT, BUT THEN ITS BEEN MORE THAN A WEEK SINCE THEN. ITS SOOOO CONFUSING CAUSE EVERYTHING IS SOOOO PERFECT, THE WAY WE ARE LIVIGN TOGETHER, EVERYTHING IS SUPER GOOD, HE IS NOT DEPRESSED (OR HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO HIDE IT). PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. HE IS 21 YEARS OLD, AND I HATE THE FACT THAT I WANT SEX ALL THE TIME, AND HE DOESNT....

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If he just isn't interested but does actually have sex he may be asexual, it's not that he hates it but he just doesn't prioitise it or think about it like most people do, I understand how I feels.
I know this comment is late but it might help someone who looks at your question

April 12, 2015 - 3:46pm

hey i am having the same problem. i dont know what the problem is we have not had sex in over a year now. he is 30 and i am 19. we have been together for almost 4 years now and we had a baby boy four months ago. i have been asking for quite some time why we dont have sex and his exuses are always "im tired i had to work today" so i ask on his day off and his exuse was "this is my only day off and i just want to relax." I got concerned so started wearing makeup everyday and dressing up sexy, but still nothing. I weigh 119 pounds and i did not recieve any strechmarks from my pregnancy (thank god) my body looks the exact same way it was before i got pregnant. so i dont think it is the way i look. i have asked him if something is wrong and if he was ok and he tells me "nothing is wrong im fine" then he ask's me why i am asking and i just tell him "i was just checking" because if i tell him it is because we dont have sex, he gets mad and says "i just dont feel like it". It hurts my feelings and i am scared. i dont know what to do. i am hoping someone can help us because i dont know how long i can take this. It eats at me because just the way he looks at me is horrifying. Things are not the same anymore and i almost feel dead inside.

October 14, 2010 - 2:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to is_he_cheating)

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! A YEAR IS SOOOOO MUCH!! ITS WAAAAY TOO MUUCH....THE OTHER NIGHT I COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE, AND I TALKED TO HIM VERY CALMED BUT FIRM (NO CRYING). I TOLD HIM I WAS GOING TO LIVE WITH MY SISTER, CAUSE I WAS TIRED OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING. I SAID THAT I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY WAS HE LIKE THIS, AND THAT HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND THAT ITS NOT WHAT I WANTED. SO THAT INSTEAD OF BREAKING UP, I WAS GOING TO MOVE TO MY SISTERS HOUSE AND THAT WE COULD SEE EACH OTHER ON THE WEEKENDS, SO THAT HE COULD REALLY THINK ABOUT ALL THAT WAS HAPPENING AND DECIDE IF ITS WHAT HE WANTS. ITS SOOOO NOT NORMAL, THAT HE IS IN HIS PRIME YEARS AND THAT HE DOESNT FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX. FOR A WHILE HE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING, HE WAS KINDDA IN A SHOCK, AND THEN HE SAID THAT ME LEAVING WAS OUT OF THE CONVERSATION, THAT HE WAS NOT GOING TO LET ME LEAVE, CAUSE THE ONLY REASON WHY HE LEFT HIS FAMILY AND LEFT HIS COUNTRY WAS TO LIVE WITH ME AND BE WITH ME, SO THAT HE WASNT GOING TO LET ME LEAVE....I SAID THAT I WASNT GOING TO TRY TO CHANGE THINGS ANYMORE, THAT HE HAD TO CHANGE IF HE WANTED ME TO STAY....THAT WAS ON SATURDAY NIGHT,AFTER THE CONVERSATION HE MADE LOVE TO ME, AND IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! SUNDAY MORNING HE WOKE ME UP (WITCH WAS SOOOOO WEIRD, HE NEVER DOES THAT) AND HE MADE LOVE TO ME AGAIN...AT THE AFTERNOON WE WENT OUT FOR A WALK, AND HE WAS ALL THE TIME FLIRTING ME, WHEN WE GOT BACK HOME FIRST THING HE DID WAS TAKE MY CLOTHS OFF AND DID IT AGAIN...THIS MORNING HE WOKE ME UP AGAIN...I DONT KNOW IF HE GOT SCARED THAT I SAID I WAS LEAVING, OR IF THAT MADE HIM REALIZE HOW BAD THINGS ARE, I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPEND. BUT ITS GOOOOOOD HAHA, HOPE IT DOENST CHANGE, WE ARE SOOOO YOUNG, AND ALL I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS TO ENJOY OUR YOUTH HAVE SEX WHILE WE CAN!!HEHE...IN YOUR CASE ITS HARDER CAUSE U CANT JUST LEAVE HIM, YOU HAVE A BABY, BUT MAYBE HE DOESNT REALIZE THAT NOT HAVING SEX IS GROWING YOU APART, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL HIM, TELL HIM THAT ITS NOT NORMAL, THAT U NEED TO FEEL HIM....I WISH I COULD HELP YOU MORE. I'M JUST EXPERIENCING THE CHANGES OF MY BF ALMOST HAVING TO THREATEN HIM. I HOPE ITS NOT A ONE WEEK THING....

October 18, 2010 - 1:33pm
(reply to Anonymous)

I know a year is like for ever right? It sux. I feel like a virgin because it has been so long. omg. your so lucky.lol I tried threating to leave him in the past over this shit and he accused me of wanting to cheat on him. ya bullshit right. well i did have a big talk with him on sunday and i told him that something needs to change. I barely remember what it is like to kiss him. I told him that i want to know why things are the way they are and what we can do to fix it. I asked him what he thought about our relationship and he said "good". i then asked him why dont we have sex then? and he said "I know babe im sorry. I need to work on that." I could not believe that he actually talked. For almost forever he always told me that i was crazy and that he did not want to talk about it. well we still have not had sex or anything but he asked me out to dinner next weekend. He is taking me three hours away from where we live all the way to Anarbor Michigan at this really nice restraunt. His mom is going to watch the baby. so wish me luck hopefully i get some. lol.

October 22, 2010 - 7:58pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to is_he_cheating)

At least he said something...when he acussed u from wanting to cheat on him, you should have said "are you going to do something about it or wait till i do it?" i hate that about men, they know there is something wrong, they know that in any time u will cheat, and even then they dont do anything to make you think differently. My bf asked me some time ago, when we were about to sleep, he huged me and said, baby would you cheat on me?...i was soooooo mad,cause i realized that he was AWARE that what was happening could make me think of cheating on him...and i said, "if you are so worried about that, instead of thinking in that posibility DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"...tell me what happend on the weekend? what did he say?? if he invited you to some place like how you discribe it, then must have been something big...

October 25, 2010 - 8:26am
(reply to Anonymous)

ya i will write you back after this weekend. That is if he still takes me. knowing my luck he will change his mind and not go. He was just talking about it tonight saying that he would rather use his money to put an exspensive front mount inercooler on his car just to make it look cool. I am so tired of him being so materialistic. Okay i think things are completely backwards in our relationship. 1. I barely bitch about anything but OMG he bitches about EVERYTHING. 2. He takes two showers a day knowing our water bill is high. 3. He is so materialistic (choosing materials over things that actually matter). I strive to be perfect in his eyes but it does not make a difference in what i really do anymore. I feel as if i am in a love/hate relationship. Everything is so complicated with him. And he calls me crazy, well i wonder why! men are so dumb. but honestly i do not want to go the rest of my days in starvation of a sex life. lol. but i keep push'n along and trying my hardest to make things work. well i geuss i will have to wait and see what happens after this weekend. talk to you then.

October 26, 2010 - 4:24am
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