Of course we all have different levels of tolerance, but according to Patricia Evans, who wrote "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" anytime someone drops a name, that's considered verbal abuse ... Also here's Seven Signs You're in a Verbally Abusive Relationship adapted from the book.
1. He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault.
2. When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about.
3. You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions.
4. You're upset—not so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say.
5. You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad."
6. He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right.
7. You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!"
Also, I don't know how close you are with this friend, but you may want to suggest some sort of fair fighting. In the heat of emotion, we can tend to break the rules of fair fighting, but we need to be aware of them first.
Here's a few ways that other community members deal with fighting with their significant others.
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Of course we all have different levels of tolerance, but according to Patricia Evans, who wrote "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" anytime someone drops a name, that's considered verbal abuse ... Also here's Seven Signs You're in a Verbally Abusive Relationship adapted from the book.
1. He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault.
2. When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about.
3. You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions.
4. You're upset—not so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say.
5. You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad."
6. He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right.
7. You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!"
(Source: Oprah.com)
Also, I don't know how close you are with this friend, but you may want to suggest some sort of fair fighting. In the heat of emotion, we can tend to break the rules of fair fighting, but we need to be aware of them first.
Here's a few ways that other community members deal with fighting with their significant others.
https://www.empowher.com/ask/fair-fighting/fair-fighting-couples-and-how...
July 9, 2008 - 3:16pmThis Comment
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