When I was 14 years old (20 now) my parents separated and that was when my life changed. I wasn't too bothered about them separating.... At least I don't think I was. I never seemed upset about it or anything, I just accepted it. Before this problem I was so active. I was the fittest kid in school, always out with friends getting up to stuff, then that happened in my life and I changed. I stopped going to school at 14 years old and just lived in my bedroom playing the Xbox. I didn't go out with friends or family, didn't even talk to anyone. The only form of communication I had was with my mother or 2 maybe 3 friends on the Xbox. I have never worked, got no grades and I just feel like I would be better off dead than be a waste of space within society. I want to live though, I want to see the future and watch the world change and advance, I want a family and a normal life. I want to work and get money, but I just can't. I can't explain it. I feel empty when It comes to anything. I've tried to go out with people, meet new friends and even excercise, but i don't enjoy it nor dislike it. I kinda suffer from Social Anxiety due to me isolating myself so much, I say kinda because I've been working on fixing it. I did see a doctor about my anxiety and she offered medication but I didn't want to take that stuff, also I tried groups for this problem, even doing something called CBT with a counsellor and nothing helps. I have improved because I was once to anxious to go out the house alone, now I can, but that was me helping myself. Ive tried to changed, but I just feel like I can't change enough to be considered a model citizen or someone who is normal. I feel like I'm just watching someone do nothing with their life through their eyes because deep down I'm screaming at myself to do stuff. I'm not really here for advice, I just want to share this because I've never done so before, but if you do have some advice, please share. Sorry for the long post.
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When I was 14 years old (20 now) my parents separated and that was when my life changed. I wasn't too bothered about them separating.... At least I don't think I was. I never seemed upset about it or anything, I just accepted it. Before this problem I was so active. I was the fittest kid in school, always out with friends getting up to stuff, then that happened in my life and I changed. I stopped going to school at 14 years old and just lived in my bedroom playing the Xbox. I didn't go out with friends or family, didn't even talk to anyone. The only form of communication I had was with my mother or 2 maybe 3 friends on the Xbox. I have never worked, got no grades and I just feel like I would be better off dead than be a waste of space within society. I want to live though, I want to see the future and watch the world change and advance, I want a family and a normal life. I want to work and get money, but I just can't. I can't explain it. I feel empty when It comes to anything. I've tried to go out with people, meet new friends and even excercise, but i don't enjoy it nor dislike it. I kinda suffer from Social Anxiety due to me isolating myself so much, I say kinda because I've been working on fixing it. I did see a doctor about my anxiety and she offered medication but I didn't want to take that stuff, also I tried groups for this problem, even doing something called CBT with a counsellor and nothing helps. I have improved because I was once to anxious to go out the house alone, now I can, but that was me helping myself. Ive tried to changed, but I just feel like I can't change enough to be considered a model citizen or someone who is normal. I feel like I'm just watching someone do nothing with their life through their eyes because deep down I'm screaming at myself to do stuff. I'm not really here for advice, I just want to share this because I've never done so before, but if you do have some advice, please share. Sorry for the long post.
January 27, 2017 - 12:34pmThis Comment
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