First off, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have been there and it is absolutely the worst. Second, as of about 2 months ago I am pain-free! I suffered with Provoked Vestibulodynia (formally known as Vular Vestibulodynia Syndrome) for four years until I switched all my hair and body products to chemical free options and within a few weeks I could have pain-free sex for the first time in my marriage. It has been absolutely life changing. Like you, I discovered my pain on my wedding night. Awful. Now we have pain free sex! Here is a link to the post I read that helped me discover what was wrong:
I also found this one to be helpful:
Don't give up hope! This might work for you too!