I've known my significant other for over 10 years now. He is charming, well liked, a conversationalist, successful and provides us a above average lifestyle. There isn't anyone that wouldn't like him. He has another side behind closed doors at home. He has a history of being physically abusive and anger management issues. When the physical abuse went to far we went to two marriage counselors. The abuse has evolved into belittling, demeaning and coercion. There was two instances of physical abuse since the two marriage counselors. Recently we took a trip and on that trip he used coercion to get what he wanted, threatened to leave if we didn't do what he wanted to do because we spent a day with my lifelong second mom who stood up for us at our wedding. He was going to leave if we didn't share time in doing what we both like to do in the particular city we were vacationing in. He and I had planned for months to look at homes outside this particular city while vacationing. I spent months looking at homes and ran by each home past him prior to leaving. He didn't have to do anything but right along and prior stated we'd put an offer in on a home if we found something we liked. We found something we liked and it was on the second trip to see if we wanted to put an offer on the house he unilaterally without conversation or alternatives decided he didn't want the home and it was too overpriced. He then also said as long as his work was paying him his handsome income he had no intention on leaving. He used more coercion and threatening words, I packed up and left the trip early in tears. Shuttled his butt back to his work. Now I feel I've sacrificed my happiness, dreams for his financial comfort. He says we can look again, why would I look again when I feel placated? I even canceled last minute plans with my friend. I feel betrayed. I am angry, I feel captive and am tired of him. He has lied in the past, he has looked at porn in the past, he has lost his temper, he has been physically abusive even on this most recent trip. I am tired and have sacrificed my jobs to follow my passion that I've finally decided to give up and go into an area that I can get my own job and save money the side while getting an education. No one has a right to tell me where I need to live nor tell me we can do it in a few years when they are ready. This time it went to far. I am tired. I feel that I need to go to a third marriage counselor due to my feelings of anger, betrayal, placated and him putting his job above love (he said he could work from home and then speaks differently when we get home). All he talks about is intimacy and my heart is so far from that.
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I've known my significant other for over 10 years now. He is charming, well liked, a conversationalist, successful and provides us a above average lifestyle. There isn't anyone that wouldn't like him. He has another side behind closed doors at home. He has a history of being physically abusive and anger management issues. When the physical abuse went to far we went to two marriage counselors. The abuse has evolved into belittling, demeaning and coercion. There was two instances of physical abuse since the two marriage counselors. Recently we took a trip and on that trip he used coercion to get what he wanted, threatened to leave if we didn't do what he wanted to do because we spent a day with my lifelong second mom who stood up for us at our wedding. He was going to leave if we didn't share time in doing what we both like to do in the particular city we were vacationing in. He and I had planned for months to look at homes outside this particular city while vacationing. I spent months looking at homes and ran by each home past him prior to leaving. He didn't have to do anything but right along and prior stated we'd put an offer in on a home if we found something we liked. We found something we liked and it was on the second trip to see if we wanted to put an offer on the house he unilaterally without conversation or alternatives decided he didn't want the home and it was too overpriced. He then also said as long as his work was paying him his handsome income he had no intention on leaving. He used more coercion and threatening words, I packed up and left the trip early in tears. Shuttled his butt back to his work. Now I feel I've sacrificed my happiness, dreams for his financial comfort. He says we can look again, why would I look again when I feel placated? I even canceled last minute plans with my friend. I feel betrayed. I am angry, I feel captive and am tired of him. He has lied in the past, he has looked at porn in the past, he has lost his temper, he has been physically abusive even on this most recent trip. I am tired and have sacrificed my jobs to follow my passion that I've finally decided to give up and go into an area that I can get my own job and save money the side while getting an education. No one has a right to tell me where I need to live nor tell me we can do it in a few years when they are ready. This time it went to far. I am tired. I feel that I need to go to a third marriage counselor due to my feelings of anger, betrayal, placated and him putting his job above love (he said he could work from home and then speaks differently when we get home). All he talks about is intimacy and my heart is so far from that.
August 28, 2017 - 10:01pmThis Comment
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