You are very strong and determined - going back to school, managing all of the upheaval and still noticing what is going on and seeking help takes courage. You are not a failure b/c you are in a controlling and abusive relationship, you are just trying hard to keep things going. First, get to the Dr and find some help for the depression, he/she will also be able to guide you on social services and what is available so you can get some counseling and help. Know that he will complain about any and everything so all you can control is your reaction - if you give his complaints a big mental 'whatever' then you will find that the power he has over your emotions will begin to subside b/c if you aren't worried about keeping him happy, you won't be caught up in his demands. This is easier said than done but you can do it. Leaving him would be the best gift you could give him, you and the children. Abuse and control are cycles and once the explosion/complaint is over, there is a honeymoon period where you think 'ok , things will be alright' and then there comes tension, and then another explosion and on it goes. 99% of physical abuse begins with verbal and emotional abuse so what you are experiencing is considered abuse. Quietly reach out to friends and family and find some support, you'll be surprised at how much help is available once you start down that road. There are websites with tons of information, including Patricia Evan's website, www.verbalabuse.com - I have some other resources if you want to email me at [email protected] I will send them to you. Hang tight sweetie, you are on the way to a healthier life. HUGS.
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You are very strong and determined - going back to school, managing all of the upheaval and still noticing what is going on and seeking help takes courage. You are not a failure b/c you are in a controlling and abusive relationship, you are just trying hard to keep things going. First, get to the Dr and find some help for the depression, he/she will also be able to guide you on social services and what is available so you can get some counseling and help. Know that he will complain about any and everything so all you can control is your reaction - if you give his complaints a big mental 'whatever' then you will find that the power he has over your emotions will begin to subside b/c if you aren't worried about keeping him happy, you won't be caught up in his demands. This is easier said than done but you can do it. Leaving him would be the best gift you could give him, you and the children. Abuse and control are cycles and once the explosion/complaint is over, there is a honeymoon period where you think 'ok , things will be alright' and then there comes tension, and then another explosion and on it goes. 99% of physical abuse begins with verbal and emotional abuse so what you are experiencing is considered abuse. Quietly reach out to friends and family and find some support, you'll be surprised at how much help is available once you start down that road. There are websites with tons of information, including Patricia Evan's website, www.verbalabuse.com - I have some other resources if you want to email me at [email protected] I will send them to you. Hang tight sweetie, you are on the way to a healthier life. HUGS.
April 20, 2017 - 7:19amThis Comment
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