Cam, Just wanted to say that it means a lot to me to know that you were able to see your behavior for what it was. I've heard it is rare that the abuser is able to see this. So this step is enormous. It's not enough, but it is so much and it is important. I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries by making a suggestion. You say that every day she questions you and threatens to leave an you remain quiet. What is stopping you from telling her that you are trying? That it is taking time, but you are really trying. You might even have an agreement where she lets you know when your behavior is unacceptable and you change it - or if that is too hard maybe a signal between you. But I do wonder if you being silent might look to her like you not hearing her. And part of changing is hearing her. I hope this is helpful.
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Cam, Just wanted to say that it means a lot to me to know that you were able to see your behavior for what it was. I've heard it is rare that the abuser is able to see this. So this step is enormous. It's not enough, but it is so much and it is important. I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries by making a suggestion. You say that every day she questions you and threatens to leave an you remain quiet. What is stopping you from telling her that you are trying? That it is taking time, but you are really trying. You might even have an agreement where she lets you know when your behavior is unacceptable and you change it - or if that is too hard maybe a signal between you. But I do wonder if you being silent might look to her like you not hearing her. And part of changing is hearing her. I hope this is helpful.
June 15, 2016 - 2:27pmThis Comment
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