I have been married almost 28 years. I didn't start counseling about our dysfunctional marriage until I was pregnant with our 2nd child (12 years in)... Two different counselors who did not consult with one another labeled me as being emotionally and verbally abused by my husband. He has vexed accepted the labels/diagnosis. I filed for separation in Jan 2008 but dropped it later that year. I chickened out. The patterns continue. The anger is still scary. My kids are now 12 & 14 and after reading a journal from 4 years ago I worry about what I've subjected them to. I told him I want a divorce 4 months ago. He has not said a word along the lines of "what can I do to save our marriage", etc. A cool or days ago he told our daughter he thinks I'm stressed. He has used this excuse to deflect before. Little nuggets like this make me think he isn't capable of changing. And I'm not even sure that is he WERE to change it would make and difference. My trust is so broken. My new counselor said he has some BPD traits and I am sure he has Asperger's (our son is a high functioning Aspie... I guess I'm wondering if men can really change? He's 53 by the way.
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I have been married almost 28 years. I didn't start counseling about our dysfunctional marriage until I was pregnant with our 2nd child (12 years in)... Two different counselors who did not consult with one another labeled me as being emotionally and verbally abused by my husband. He has vexed accepted the labels/diagnosis. I filed for separation in Jan 2008 but dropped it later that year. I chickened out. The patterns continue. The anger is still scary. My kids are now 12 & 14 and after reading a journal from 4 years ago I worry about what I've subjected them to. I told him I want a divorce 4 months ago. He has not said a word along the lines of "what can I do to save our marriage", etc. A cool or days ago he told our daughter he thinks I'm stressed. He has used this excuse to deflect before. Little nuggets like this make me think he isn't capable of changing. And I'm not even sure that is he WERE to change it would make and difference. My trust is so broken. My new counselor said he has some BPD traits and I am sure he has Asperger's (our son is a high functioning Aspie... I guess I'm wondering if men can really change? He's 53 by the way.
January 5, 2016 - 8:11pmThis Comment
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