I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent and professional woman. But my estranged husband began emotionally abusing me on our wedding day when he grabbed the back of my neck while we were cutting our cake and whispered that he would smash my entire face in the plate of cake I held in my hand if I smashed the small piece I held in his face. (he had smashed the cake the night before in my face putting icing in my eyes). I was not raised in an emotionally abusive home, but I was raised to trust and love people. It was that trust and love that got me into trouble. I never realized what he was doing to me because I believed and trusted him. Let me begin by describing this man in my words—He is a practiced liar and master manipulator. My estranged husband let me know almost daily how STUPID I was and that the movies I watched were actually just like real life. He even looked me directly in the eyes (which I now know to be a red flag for a “lie”) and told me that he was not in jail for a year before I met him but that the authorities had recognized his outstanding marksmanship skills, recruited him to become a mercenary and sent him to different countries. He cried real tears when he told me that he had killed people. Shortly after this, he gave me a smoothie that tasted more like vicodin than it did like the fruit that it was made with. It was shortly after this that I met my attorney, who helped me eventually leave the marital home. I believe I was being poisoned regularly with drugs as I had blurred vision, I trembled, I had difficulty sleeping (3-4 hours a night for months), I had lost approximately 40 pounds, I was extremely thirsty, although I drank and drank water and Gatorade all the time, the skin inside my mouth was peeling regularly, My nails started to curl up on the ends, food turned my stomach and often made me sick, I was unable to swallow pills. Anyway, none of the blood work I had at this time tested for the drugs so it’s too late to determine whether or not he was actually doing this. However, he had talked me into changing my $150k life insurance to $400k and canceling my other $150k insurance policy. Only I found out in September last year, he never canceled but paid the second $150k insurance policy. My estranged husband’s girlfriend is now dead and left him a million dollars. I was still living in the marital home when she was killed. I only left the marital residence after spending the prior night believing he was sleeping with an AR45 (I don’t really know guns) under his blanket. The police called me the next day to tell me that they were searching her townhouse and that it may not be safe for me to return home because he would possibly know I had talked to them. They told me I would be able to get my poodle babies from the house if I didn’t go back home because they would be doing a search of our house within 4 days and I could re-enter and get anything I wanted at that time. The police finally searched the marital residence last month (a year after they told me). He has my baby poodles along with everything we acquired together during our 25 year marriage. He is claiming abandonment and there are days when I am so confused and reeling, my attorney can’t get his attorney to cooperate, he is lying on the interrogatories and has been hiding all the income from the trucking company we had together. I don’t know how to get any of this information and it appears that I may be turning over my baby poodles, my retirement savings, all my treasures, pictures and household items to this man. It isn’t fair, that this should and can happen but it is. God has been good, I was able to finally find a job albeit a temporary position in another state that pays almost twice what I was paid before. I am renting a place that not only has furniture but linens and dishes and is fully decorated. My car is falling apart with 138k miles on it. When I married him, I had two cars fully paid for that together didn’t have as many miles as the one I’m driving now and never had one with as many problems as the one I am now driving. He now enjoys all the marital items attained in “his” home. He has purchased a second car, a Harley Davidson motorcycle, and an old RV and fixed it up. I probably need to mention that I am not entitled to any of his inheritance.
The police tell me they believe he is a person or the only person of interest, but they have told me so many lies that some days I believe he has manipulated them into believing that I may have had something to do with her murder. I am so twisted and reeling from the emotional abuse, the thought that he could have done this to a person, to not having my baby poodles, or any of my belongings. Some nights are so hard that I just sob. I have only missed one day of work which was a “vacation” day to appear in Court, where I lost the hearing for a protective order after the smoothie incident. The media wants me to talk to them. I want to help others who are in my position to bring to light what is happening to them, but I’m too afraid. If I do, I believe he will retaliate. I empathize with her family needing closure for her murder but I cannot help them with that.
How do I start to heal from this emotional abuse and roller coaster? In this new place, I have no friends, how do you make friends with the baggage I have?
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I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent and professional woman. But my estranged husband began emotionally abusing me on our wedding day when he grabbed the back of my neck while we were cutting our cake and whispered that he would smash my entire face in the plate of cake I held in my hand if I smashed the small piece I held in his face. (he had smashed the cake the night before in my face putting icing in my eyes). I was not raised in an emotionally abusive home, but I was raised to trust and love people. It was that trust and love that got me into trouble. I never realized what he was doing to me because I believed and trusted him. Let me begin by describing this man in my words—He is a practiced liar and master manipulator. My estranged husband let me know almost daily how STUPID I was and that the movies I watched were actually just like real life. He even looked me directly in the eyes (which I now know to be a red flag for a “lie”) and told me that he was not in jail for a year before I met him but that the authorities had recognized his outstanding marksmanship skills, recruited him to become a mercenary and sent him to different countries. He cried real tears when he told me that he had killed people. Shortly after this, he gave me a smoothie that tasted more like vicodin than it did like the fruit that it was made with. It was shortly after this that I met my attorney, who helped me eventually leave the marital home. I believe I was being poisoned regularly with drugs as I had blurred vision, I trembled, I had difficulty sleeping (3-4 hours a night for months), I had lost approximately 40 pounds, I was extremely thirsty, although I drank and drank water and Gatorade all the time, the skin inside my mouth was peeling regularly, My nails started to curl up on the ends, food turned my stomach and often made me sick, I was unable to swallow pills. Anyway, none of the blood work I had at this time tested for the drugs so it’s too late to determine whether or not he was actually doing this. However, he had talked me into changing my $150k life insurance to $400k and canceling my other $150k insurance policy. Only I found out in September last year, he never canceled but paid the second $150k insurance policy. My estranged husband’s girlfriend is now dead and left him a million dollars. I was still living in the marital home when she was killed. I only left the marital residence after spending the prior night believing he was sleeping with an AR45 (I don’t really know guns) under his blanket. The police called me the next day to tell me that they were searching her townhouse and that it may not be safe for me to return home because he would possibly know I had talked to them. They told me I would be able to get my poodle babies from the house if I didn’t go back home because they would be doing a search of our house within 4 days and I could re-enter and get anything I wanted at that time. The police finally searched the marital residence last month (a year after they told me). He has my baby poodles along with everything we acquired together during our 25 year marriage. He is claiming abandonment and there are days when I am so confused and reeling, my attorney can’t get his attorney to cooperate, he is lying on the interrogatories and has been hiding all the income from the trucking company we had together. I don’t know how to get any of this information and it appears that I may be turning over my baby poodles, my retirement savings, all my treasures, pictures and household items to this man. It isn’t fair, that this should and can happen but it is. God has been good, I was able to finally find a job albeit a temporary position in another state that pays almost twice what I was paid before. I am renting a place that not only has furniture but linens and dishes and is fully decorated. My car is falling apart with 138k miles on it. When I married him, I had two cars fully paid for that together didn’t have as many miles as the one I’m driving now and never had one with as many problems as the one I am now driving. He now enjoys all the marital items attained in “his” home. He has purchased a second car, a Harley Davidson motorcycle, and an old RV and fixed it up. I probably need to mention that I am not entitled to any of his inheritance.
August 24, 2015 - 7:54pmThe police tell me they believe he is a person or the only person of interest, but they have told me so many lies that some days I believe he has manipulated them into believing that I may have had something to do with her murder. I am so twisted and reeling from the emotional abuse, the thought that he could have done this to a person, to not having my baby poodles, or any of my belongings. Some nights are so hard that I just sob. I have only missed one day of work which was a “vacation” day to appear in Court, where I lost the hearing for a protective order after the smoothie incident. The media wants me to talk to them. I want to help others who are in my position to bring to light what is happening to them, but I’m too afraid. If I do, I believe he will retaliate. I empathize with her family needing closure for her murder but I cannot help them with that.
How do I start to heal from this emotional abuse and roller coaster? In this new place, I have no friends, how do you make friends with the baggage I have?
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