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This article is my story. He has neglected me for twenty years, only twice very briefly showing genuine intimacy and throwing me an occasional bone. I have always internalized everything he says, buying into it that it is all my fault. I have never been able to be my whole self with him. He has told our daughters that my tatoo are disgusting even though they (2 ) are hidden and I had one when we met. I have doubted myself and felt crazy all these years until I read this article. I'm even graduating with a psychology degree and I'm blaming myself for his abuse to me!! That is how confused I am. I feel like no one really likes me even though my few friends tell me they do. He explodes when I call him on anything he says. I am so lonely, I have been so alone and lonely for 20 years. I don't want to damage my 3 daughters. He badgers them pretty hard sometimes, but he knows they are my life and I am always watching and protecting. I am just torn apart with wanting the best life for my daughters. Is it better to stay . I'm going to start counseling myself I am absolutely exhausted. I'm glad I made it this far thank you ladies for your encouraging stories.