i have been married almost 9 yrs we have been together 10 yrs in all. i am finally able to put a name to what this treatment is called as he has been emotionally abusive the entire marriage.
u would not know it. he is the most charming snake walking around. he gets everything he wants in life bc he is that charming and personable remembering names and buying everyone thoughtful gifts etc. i have never seen him denied for any job, promotion, or raise. he makes best friends with everyone he knows. people constantly brag on what a "good man" i have and women adore and pursue him (and he has had 2 xtramarital affairs that i know of/he confessed to...and of course they were MY fault for me not being good to him he says). he is a very successful con artist. and if u could hear this man pray! he can pray so wonderfully in the name of Jesus.
i was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and vowed never to let someone step on me again. thats why it has taken me so long to pinpoint what this mistreatment is. its a different form of abuse im not used to. for example: he says whats wrong we can talk about it. i wont get mad. i promise to listen to u, i love u. i then voice my frustration about yet another inconsiderate, vindictive, evil thing he has done to upset me and he immediately turns defensive, full of excuses, NO apologies ever. reading these comments made me realize this man has NEVER apologized upfront about anything wrong in our entire marriage. its only after an argument like this, he will then say "sorry" and thats it...and thats usually followed up for a request for food or sex or some chore for him like thats my price for him saying sorry for shit he has done.
he has alienated me from his entire family and friends. he has successfully painted me as a paranoid, jealous, selfish, contolling bitch of a wife in their eyes. i believe he even put me on speakerphone for them to hear me curse him out. they just didnt get to hear what he had done to me yet again for me to curse him out and they dont care. they take his side. mister charming superstar. he befriended a new friend i had made and then talked trash about me to her every chance he got. he talked trash about me to her in subtle ways such as "warning" her about my "other side", complaining about how hard married life was with me, saying he feels suicidal from time to time and trapped with me. when she told me he was trying to get in her pants with all this, he denied it and said she was crazy. actually, i found out she was crazy in many ways and ended that friendship but so is he! that was 7 yrs ago when i first found out he talks trash about me behind my back to people, lying on me even. he has even lied on other people like saying his friend such-n-such told him to cheat on me or told him to do evil things to me. come to find out these people had never said any such thing. he just did that to make me not like them and im sure said mean things about me to them to make them not like me.
it wasnt until i recently heard him giving his evil criticism to our 13 yr old son that i snapped. i told him he will not dare talk to my kids like hes crazy or i will kill him. and i meant it. i dont care if he wants to talk crap about me to me others but he will not start this abuse crap with our 2 kids. so, now, after i called him by his real name yesterday afternoon-EMOTIONAL ABUSER- i told him i am leaving him. i told him i wont be with him another 6 months with this mess he calls marriage. i told him aware he is intentionally devising evil schemes and plans behind my back and delivering invisible slaps to the face regularly bc he wants to control me. i told him it ends today bc now i will take on being the BITCH he convinced everybody i was anyway. i told him dont talk to me at all yesterday and he didnt.
this morning he puts on mr humble nice husband act and says he is sorry for being evil to me all these years and he wont treat me like that anymore. i told him i am not listening to anything he is saying. i will only trust consistent action beginning with him calling each family member and family friend and explaining to them he is a liar and an evil husband and he has been lying on me for years and that he is going to repent and love me the right way as God commands. i saw a flash of pleading in his eyes but he has agreed to do it today after work. we shall see if he is serious about this as i am dead serious. i am done with that abuse.
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i have been married almost 9 yrs we have been together 10 yrs in all. i am finally able to put a name to what this treatment is called as he has been emotionally abusive the entire marriage.
u would not know it. he is the most charming snake walking around. he gets everything he wants in life bc he is that charming and personable remembering names and buying everyone thoughtful gifts etc. i have never seen him denied for any job, promotion, or raise. he makes best friends with everyone he knows. people constantly brag on what a "good man" i have and women adore and pursue him (and he has had 2 xtramarital affairs that i know of/he confessed to...and of course they were MY fault for me not being good to him he says). he is a very successful con artist. and if u could hear this man pray! he can pray so wonderfully in the name of Jesus.
i was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and vowed never to let someone step on me again. thats why it has taken me so long to pinpoint what this mistreatment is. its a different form of abuse im not used to. for example: he says whats wrong we can talk about it. i wont get mad. i promise to listen to u, i love u. i then voice my frustration about yet another inconsiderate, vindictive, evil thing he has done to upset me and he immediately turns defensive, full of excuses, NO apologies ever. reading these comments made me realize this man has NEVER apologized upfront about anything wrong in our entire marriage. its only after an argument like this, he will then say "sorry" and thats it...and thats usually followed up for a request for food or sex or some chore for him like thats my price for him saying sorry for shit he has done.
he has alienated me from his entire family and friends. he has successfully painted me as a paranoid, jealous, selfish, contolling bitch of a wife in their eyes. i believe he even put me on speakerphone for them to hear me curse him out. they just didnt get to hear what he had done to me yet again for me to curse him out and they dont care. they take his side. mister charming superstar. he befriended a new friend i had made and then talked trash about me to her every chance he got. he talked trash about me to her in subtle ways such as "warning" her about my "other side", complaining about how hard married life was with me, saying he feels suicidal from time to time and trapped with me. when she told me he was trying to get in her pants with all this, he denied it and said she was crazy. actually, i found out she was crazy in many ways and ended that friendship but so is he! that was 7 yrs ago when i first found out he talks trash about me behind my back to people, lying on me even. he has even lied on other people like saying his friend such-n-such told him to cheat on me or told him to do evil things to me. come to find out these people had never said any such thing. he just did that to make me not like them and im sure said mean things about me to them to make them not like me.
it wasnt until i recently heard him giving his evil criticism to our 13 yr old son that i snapped. i told him he will not dare talk to my kids like hes crazy or i will kill him. and i meant it. i dont care if he wants to talk crap about me to me others but he will not start this abuse crap with our 2 kids. so, now, after i called him by his real name yesterday afternoon-EMOTIONAL ABUSER- i told him i am leaving him. i told him i wont be with him another 6 months with this mess he calls marriage. i told him aware he is intentionally devising evil schemes and plans behind my back and delivering invisible slaps to the face regularly bc he wants to control me. i told him it ends today bc now i will take on being the BITCH he convinced everybody i was anyway. i told him dont talk to me at all yesterday and he didnt.
this morning he puts on mr humble nice husband act and says he is sorry for being evil to me all these years and he wont treat me like that anymore. i told him i am not listening to anything he is saying. i will only trust consistent action beginning with him calling each family member and family friend and explaining to them he is a liar and an evil husband and he has been lying on me for years and that he is going to repent and love me the right way as God commands. i saw a flash of pleading in his eyes but he has agreed to do it today after work. we shall see if he is serious about this as i am dead serious. i am done with that abuse.
March 25, 2015 - 10:25amThis Comment
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