One of the first comments on this article was from a man who expressed that he was being abused in a similar way by his wife to what I describe in this article. Men are certainly not exempt from feeling the same levels of abuse. I did actually write an article about women who abuse based on his comment.
Women can abuse, too, and I will say what I tell the women ... you don't deserve to be treated this way. It's a very stressful time for both you and her. I know what it's like to be out of work, and I've seen the effects of being out of work on a man -- It's not good. You have to figure out if her words and actions are simply out of frustration. There's a lot of pressure on her right now to make financial ends meet. She may feel like she's carrying the entire load herself. At the moment, financially she is and that weighs on women in a different way than men because there are so many other things expected of a woman. Emotionally, you're just as stressed out about being unemployed as she is. Unfortunately, she can't see that and takes her emotions out on you. There's a difference between sharing in those emotions and carrying them together as a couple/family, and playing the blaming game -- which it sounds like she's doing, when there really may not be anyone to blame.
Are you helping out in other ways to so that her at-home responsibilities aren't staring her in the face when she walks in the door. Are you putting out resumes, calling businesses, looking at retraining opportunities and financing that might help you get more employable skills. The value of a person isn't necessarily solely defined by how much money they bring in to a family, but how much more possible it is for the money makers of the family to do what they need to. Even though you feel the burden of unemployment just as much as she does, she needs to see that you understand how that burden impacts her, as well, and you can do that by helping in other areas. (Also, you need to do this for yourself, so that you know you've done all you can to find work and to help her during this tough time. You can't do it solely for the hope that she will notice and appreciate it. You need to do it because it's the right thing to do.)
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One of the first comments on this article was from a man who expressed that he was being abused in a similar way by his wife to what I describe in this article. Men are certainly not exempt from feeling the same levels of abuse. I did actually write an article about women who abuse based on his comment.
Women can abuse, too, and I will say what I tell the women ... you don't deserve to be treated this way. It's a very stressful time for both you and her. I know what it's like to be out of work, and I've seen the effects of being out of work on a man -- It's not good. You have to figure out if her words and actions are simply out of frustration. There's a lot of pressure on her right now to make financial ends meet. She may feel like she's carrying the entire load herself. At the moment, financially she is and that weighs on women in a different way than men because there are so many other things expected of a woman. Emotionally, you're just as stressed out about being unemployed as she is. Unfortunately, she can't see that and takes her emotions out on you. There's a difference between sharing in those emotions and carrying them together as a couple/family, and playing the blaming game -- which it sounds like she's doing, when there really may not be anyone to blame.
Are you helping out in other ways to so that her at-home responsibilities aren't staring her in the face when she walks in the door. Are you putting out resumes, calling businesses, looking at retraining opportunities and financing that might help you get more employable skills. The value of a person isn't necessarily solely defined by how much money they bring in to a family, but how much more possible it is for the money makers of the family to do what they need to. Even though you feel the burden of unemployment just as much as she does, she needs to see that you understand how that burden impacts her, as well, and you can do that by helping in other areas. (Also, you need to do this for yourself, so that you know you've done all you can to find work and to help her during this tough time. You can't do it solely for the hope that she will notice and appreciate it. You need to do it because it's the right thing to do.)
March 13, 2015 - 10:15amThis Comment
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