I'd never thought in this lifetime I'd be relating to this and actually writing about it. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago, we started out as friends but he drinks a lot. We eventually hooked up on a drunken night out but it wasn't anything memorable. I was also 80 lbs over weight but he never said anything mean or bad about me. We had the best sex ever, 4-6 hours and it was insane so incredible that I'd have 30 orgasiums. Over time he started telling me all his crazy stories, some were getting to the point i was in shock and I was in denial. We've had a lot of problems, mainly due to alcohol. I've stopped drinking 2 years now and have lost 80lbs and now he has become a different person saying he loves going to Korean Whore Houses because he'd pay for a meal,massage, 3 girls and sex and didn't have worry about them calling him, he now says I look like a cheap 80's hooker with fat rolls and I have no fat rolls. He insults me whenever I get dressed up and put makeup, never tells me
I look pretty, he was drunk and slipped telling me he went out with his neighbors girlfriend who was home alone and lonely all day and he liked her because she was new and it was nice. After that I went to their house and talked to her and she says he called all the time and he was definitely moving in on her and he was drinking even more now because they are bar owners and drug addicts so his drinking was to the point he'd black out and become abusive emotionally, physically and say awful horrible things, I'd blow up his phone later with 100's of nasty things to say back; well I quickly sabotaged that new nice affair by telling her the truth and now he's not even allowed into their bar now. As sick and toxic this had gotten I had now gotten revenge by ruining his newly replaced friends because now that I wasn't his drinking buddy he found a better one, I enjoyed ruining that. We'd fight all the time then have passionate hate sex. That was great but going from every week to now nothing but mentally kind fucked, drained and now I have no self esteem or confidence. I've been so depressed that I don't eat, and I hate myself and I feel alone, unwanted, undesirable, unattractive. He looks and comments on hot women, and I've even gone to strip clubs to see if their was any spark left. He would always say he's tired, it's late, it's too early, I have bad timing, when he doesn't work and drinks all day so it's not like he has anything going on. He's told me while drunk he has no interest in me, doesn't want sex because I'm a mental train wreck, I'm a gross and nasty swamp girl that nobody wants to be around and I must do something that makes men want to abuse me. He talks about his youthful years and all the sluts he's had even up to the time he met me, now he says he wants more and he doesn't want sex. It's just a mind game. It got so bad that when I tried going on a date when a gentleman would hold the door, pay for dinner, drive me, complement me, I'd become so uncomfortable and nervous that I'd shut down. So I gave up on dating. Where together but I feel alone. He's told me to find a plan b if I need sex all the time. So I have been with other men, I don't tell him; but after I ask or try to do anything for any kind of affection, he always rejects me so I call my "plan b" we both get off then I Leave only feeling more alone and confused and upset. My fiends and family
all have showed concern because I'm isolating and depressed that I hate my life and just wish I was dead all the time. I don't know how I've gotten so stuck on this toxic man but I need help.
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I'd never thought in this lifetime I'd be relating to this and actually writing about it. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago, we started out as friends but he drinks a lot. We eventually hooked up on a drunken night out but it wasn't anything memorable. I was also 80 lbs over weight but he never said anything mean or bad about me. We had the best sex ever, 4-6 hours and it was insane so incredible that I'd have 30 orgasiums. Over time he started telling me all his crazy stories, some were getting to the point i was in shock and I was in denial. We've had a lot of problems, mainly due to alcohol. I've stopped drinking 2 years now and have lost 80lbs and now he has become a different person saying he loves going to Korean Whore Houses because he'd pay for a meal,massage, 3 girls and sex and didn't have worry about them calling him, he now says I look like a cheap 80's hooker with fat rolls and I have no fat rolls. He insults me whenever I get dressed up and put makeup, never tells me
September 17, 2017 - 4:22amI look pretty, he was drunk and slipped telling me he went out with his neighbors girlfriend who was home alone and lonely all day and he liked her because she was new and it was nice. After that I went to their house and talked to her and she says he called all the time and he was definitely moving in on her and he was drinking even more now because they are bar owners and drug addicts so his drinking was to the point he'd black out and become abusive emotionally, physically and say awful horrible things, I'd blow up his phone later with 100's of nasty things to say back; well I quickly sabotaged that new nice affair by telling her the truth and now he's not even allowed into their bar now. As sick and toxic this had gotten I had now gotten revenge by ruining his newly replaced friends because now that I wasn't his drinking buddy he found a better one, I enjoyed ruining that. We'd fight all the time then have passionate hate sex. That was great but going from every week to now nothing but mentally kind fucked, drained and now I have no self esteem or confidence. I've been so depressed that I don't eat, and I hate myself and I feel alone, unwanted, undesirable, unattractive. He looks and comments on hot women, and I've even gone to strip clubs to see if their was any spark left. He would always say he's tired, it's late, it's too early, I have bad timing, when he doesn't work and drinks all day so it's not like he has anything going on. He's told me while drunk he has no interest in me, doesn't want sex because I'm a mental train wreck, I'm a gross and nasty swamp girl that nobody wants to be around and I must do something that makes men want to abuse me. He talks about his youthful years and all the sluts he's had even up to the time he met me, now he says he wants more and he doesn't want sex. It's just a mind game. It got so bad that when I tried going on a date when a gentleman would hold the door, pay for dinner, drive me, complement me, I'd become so uncomfortable and nervous that I'd shut down. So I gave up on dating. Where together but I feel alone. He's told me to find a plan b if I need sex all the time. So I have been with other men, I don't tell him; but after I ask or try to do anything for any kind of affection, he always rejects me so I call my "plan b" we both get off then I Leave only feeling more alone and confused and upset. My fiends and family
all have showed concern because I'm isolating and depressed that I hate my life and just wish I was dead all the time. I don't know how I've gotten so stuck on this toxic man but I need help.
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