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Well after reading many of these comments. I must say that I found myself junping through tons of hoops to be able to say what I would like haha. I am recently dating a boy with Asbergers. I must agree sometimes it is fustrating and I myself have felt as if though I was picking up the slack or giving more into our relationship than he was. However I have learned that that is not the case. As with my boyfriend everything you see at face value means more to him but in a different way. The hardest part for me was letting him know when i wad upset. Somebody else said here that it means that he assumes im always fine. A very true accurate statement. I came home once in tears and it shocked him so much he simply held me until I felt better. But it was VERY obvious. He does not assume much ive learned but if I talk to him and stay on the same page emotionally then we communicate quite well haha You kind of have to remove the intuitive guess work haha. He can also be very hot and cold sometimes like a switch but I just smile and give him a few mins to work through the information then he always comes back around. Also I do not try to push him. His mind works in an astronomically high rate haha he processes details like I could have never imagined. I think he should write a very detail oriented book about his interests (his obsession is cars) We make a point to plan mini events. he does not always want to do them but groans and joins me anyways haha We do this to make sure that there is some type of scheduled in us time so that we do have quality time. Our thing is movies lol its people free inside and easy to make time for. We also go out once a week to hear music wich sometimea is hard (I have social anxiety) for us both but we do it because we know its good for us hahaa. And once again it is scheduled and annual. We do this because I made a point to let him know it was important to me and therefore it is important to him. (It is his way of letting me know he loves me) And he has all week to dread and prep up to the task haha. So here I guess in the simplest form is my advise when dating somebody like my bf (Im not a fan of mental illness catagories or psychologics) To me he is simply oddly brilliant punny and needs a little more self esteem... As per "normal" none of us are that haha but at least we can be interesting and quirky instead.
-Know he loves you- He would not want to spend time with you if he didn't.
-Silent non communicative quiet time together is good. Gives him safe alone time feeling in the un-obtrusive presence of his favorite person. "Alone not alone time hah"
-Let him process his emotions if he cant get them straight. Sometimes feelings and words are hard for him to put into linear thoughts. If he cant do it that time and he gets mad at himself. I just tell my bf we have months and months and months for him to think about it haha. He'll get it right someday haha
-My bf has a hard time letting me know he loves me. Thats why we have scheduled (not as boring as it sounds) preplanned time. If he does not want to I tell him its important to me which in the end makes it important to him. (He does not grasp that unless I tell him)
-Schedule- always schedule even if its earlier that day for after dinner time. That way everybody knows whats expected later on haha.
-Lastly dont think of it as a bad thing I tell my bf he is oddly brilliant everyday (he is) and I just love him as he is. I have in every way a good full healthy happy relationship although im not going to lie quieter than I expected haha. We support eachother and even if I need a hug and have to tell him first sometimes he has always had my back. He never wants me upset and if he makes me upset I make a point to tell him exactly why lol that way there is absolutly no questions haha the only person more mad at him than me is ALWAYS himself.
I know I have rambled alot but I hope that this helps out people that need it. And maybe you will forge your own slightly off kilter well lit relationship too hahaha
And as I said I had to junp through alot of hoops to write this here haha so I hope it was worth it to even one person hahaha

July 6, 2018 - 6:23pm

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