Ive got to say ..as bad as it may sound I feel better to know I am not alone in this mess.
I have been married for 12 years and my husband would rather watch porn than have sex with me too.
When we were dating he could keep his hands off me.
But the moment we were married..I mean even the wedding night he did not want to have sex..saying he was too tired.
to cut a very very long story short..he tells me all sorts of things as to why he doesn't want to have sex..sometimes the excuses are me..sontimes he says it's not me???
Ive come to a point where I dont bother initiating sex anymore because hee either shurgs me off..or hes done do quickly and I'm left lying there wondering what was all that about. I can go anythinb from 1 week to two- three months without sex. And it seems to not bother him.
ive turned to porn myself some times to help me masturbate.but I hate the thought of it. I hsve also ..( and I'm not proud of this ) but ive gone oytside my marriage and had an affair as I was lookinb for some love abnd attention and it seemed right at first..I felt justified because he didnt care about my feelings or needs.
There is a 10year age gap between us too. He uses that excuse too that its because of his age. But I know that's not necessarily true because the guy I was seeing was 4 years older than him. And he would have me gasping for breath.Anyway I don't want to bore you all, but ive read books on porn addiction, ive spoken to counscellors, ive done pretty much everything but leave him.
we have 5 children between us 2 of which are biologicaly his..and in a way its the children I feel for most..and the fact I would have had a failargeed marriage. But I am not happy im lonely..loveless and almost feel like my sex life has ended.
ive bern told by some to leave and by some to stay and just do something on the side. Neither of those bits of advice seem like sommethjng I wsnt to do..but at the same time I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice is welcome.
yours sincerely frustrated