I worry about the fact that he calls other women on the internet and talks to them, and that you felt you needed to get their numbers and talk to them just to figure out what's going on. That's not open or honest behavior on his part, and it makes you feel like you have to sneak around to find anything out.
This is a hard situation because there are good things about the relationship. It isn't all black and white. But I guess the main question needs to be this: At 40, he is who he is, and he is unlikely to change his basic personality. Do you want to stay with him in a relationship like this? Would you be happy, or would you constantly worry that something else is going on? And would you feel starved for affection, like you do now?
Being a pilot doesn't really have much to do with all this. In fact, being away for a few days at a time would often make a couple more eager to see each other and be together physically. But the fact that he IS a pilot does mean that if you marry him, you will have to deal with his absences and wonder whether anything is going on while he is on the road. Would that bother you?