Hey, I just want to give you all an update on how I'm doing. This past Monday, I finalized a settlement agreement with Neil. I went to court and had the Order of Protection dismissed. In return, under our settlement terms (and this is public information since an addendum listing the terms has been attached to our divorce decree), he is not allowed to enter the State of Arizona for the next year. And not only that, for the following three years, if he were to enter AZ, he cannot possess a firearm. Plus, he can never ever contact, in any way, shape or form, me or my children -- ever. If he were to contact us, I can immediately obtain another Order of Protection, and would have a leg up in the process.
I feel good about this settlement, and I can't tell you how relieved I am that I don't have to go back to court to face him for another hearing. We were going to have to do that in the very near future if we couldn't come up with a settlement. As stressed out as I was, I held firm to my settlement terms -- was absolutely not going to bend -- even facing the prospect of fighting him in court. And I'm really glad I did. He also had to pay all of my attorneys fees, including the fees I paid to my divorce attorney. Which I felt was only fair since he caused all of this chaos.
So....I did something physical and symbolic to mark the end of this chapter of my life. (Kind of like the way my eldest daughter and I tossed the necklaces/ring that he had given us into our community lake.) I planted a tree in my yard. It's a baby ficus and so far so good, it's thriving in my rocky desert landscape. It makes me smile to see it. I hope to one day enjoy some shade from it.
It's a new beginning and I'm feeling hope. I'm still accessing the wonderful resources that you all have provided in the preceding comments, and I'm so grateful for your support here in this awesome EmpowHER community. I'll let you know how things go....
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Hey, I just want to give you all an update on how I'm doing. This past Monday, I finalized a settlement agreement with Neil. I went to court and had the Order of Protection dismissed. In return, under our settlement terms (and this is public information since an addendum listing the terms has been attached to our divorce decree), he is not allowed to enter the State of Arizona for the next year. And not only that, for the following three years, if he were to enter AZ, he cannot possess a firearm. Plus, he can never ever contact, in any way, shape or form, me or my children -- ever. If he were to contact us, I can immediately obtain another Order of Protection, and would have a leg up in the process.
I feel good about this settlement, and I can't tell you how relieved I am that I don't have to go back to court to face him for another hearing. We were going to have to do that in the very near future if we couldn't come up with a settlement. As stressed out as I was, I held firm to my settlement terms -- was absolutely not going to bend -- even facing the prospect of fighting him in court. And I'm really glad I did. He also had to pay all of my attorneys fees, including the fees I paid to my divorce attorney. Which I felt was only fair since he caused all of this chaos.
So....I did something physical and symbolic to mark the end of this chapter of my life. (Kind of like the way my eldest daughter and I tossed the necklaces/ring that he had given us into our community lake.) I planted a tree in my yard. It's a baby ficus and so far so good, it's thriving in my rocky desert landscape. It makes me smile to see it. I hope to one day enjoy some shade from it.
It's a new beginning and I'm feeling hope. I'm still accessing the wonderful resources that you all have provided in the preceding comments, and I'm so grateful for your support here in this awesome EmpowHER community. I'll let you know how things go....
Big hug,
June 26, 2010 - 9:55amKristin
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