I am astonished that you think the problem may lie with YOU. Just astonished. Let's review:
-- You say you moved in together too soon, before you knew about some habits that you totally object to.
-- On repeated occasions he has lied to you.
-- On repeated occasions he has promised something he has not followed through on.
-- Despite the fact that something hurts you, he refuses to truly consider stopping it.
-- He gets angry when you point any of this out.
-- Not only does he continue to view the pictures that he has promised not to, he masturbates NEXT TO YOU in bed while viewing them.
Karma, these are the actions of a man who is emotionally abusing you. He may be addicted to internet porn or not, but either way, it's more important to him than you are. And no wonder he doesn't want sex with you -- he's having fantasy sex with whatever image he wants on the internet. That's much easier than dealing with a real live human being that has feelings, hopes and vulnerabilities.
I've got to tell you that I don't see a lot of hope here for this behavior to stop. This isn't love, Karma. Be strong, stand up for yourself, and leave. I know that's harsh, and horrible to hear. But I think you know inside yourself that this is NOT your fault; and that YOU are not the one who can change it.
You are a thoughtful, smart woman with feelings that matter. He has made it clear by his actions that he is not going to change. That is sad, mostly because he's missing out on a real relationship.
The only thing you can do is decide that you don't want to share a bed with him and his laptop. You are young and are worth so much more.
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Karma,
I am astonished that you think the problem may lie with YOU. Just astonished. Let's review:
-- You say you moved in together too soon, before you knew about some habits that you totally object to.
-- On repeated occasions he has lied to you.
-- On repeated occasions he has promised something he has not followed through on.
-- Despite the fact that something hurts you, he refuses to truly consider stopping it.
-- He gets angry when you point any of this out.
-- Not only does he continue to view the pictures that he has promised not to, he masturbates NEXT TO YOU in bed while viewing them.
Karma, these are the actions of a man who is emotionally abusing you. He may be addicted to internet porn or not, but either way, it's more important to him than you are. And no wonder he doesn't want sex with you -- he's having fantasy sex with whatever image he wants on the internet. That's much easier than dealing with a real live human being that has feelings, hopes and vulnerabilities.
I've got to tell you that I don't see a lot of hope here for this behavior to stop. This isn't love, Karma. Be strong, stand up for yourself, and leave. I know that's harsh, and horrible to hear. But I think you know inside yourself that this is NOT your fault; and that YOU are not the one who can change it.
You are a thoughtful, smart woman with feelings that matter. He has made it clear by his actions that he is not going to change. That is sad, mostly because he's missing out on a real relationship.
The only thing you can do is decide that you don't want to share a bed with him and his laptop. You are young and are worth so much more.
June 11, 2010 - 9:22amThis Comment
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