I'm sure many posts have already covered this but male sexuality is very visual. Most men use visual stimuli. The reason Porn is so prevalent in the modern man, is because it's much cheaper than strip clubs. This does not mean he doesn't love, honor and respect you - assuming that he's only looking?
Modern women are taught that porn is a "perversion". In other words a vile, twisted version of reality, but it's not. It is reality. Men fantasize, and not usually about their partners. This is normal and healthy behavior.
The anger, lies and frustration is a different matter. How this started is embarrassment. He needs this, and he knows it hurts you, so he's trying his best to keep it from you. You have a choice here. Keep checking his history, his phone, questioning him, or let it go. Or leave him. Three options. It could be that your mutual anger (both sides here - not your fault) has rendered the relationship impossible. Please note though, your next lover will most likely also watch porn regularly. If you live a long happy blissful life with this man, it isn't because he doesn't, it's because he's better at hiding it.
I just realized there's a fourth option, but it's a big emotional risk. You could replace some of his need for porn by becoming his visual stimulus. However, if he doesn't respond it will be humiliating. I don't recommend this option, this is something that needs to be introduced from the start of a relationship.
Please, take note, this is not your fault. It's just something he needs. Just like women need to be told that they are loved, and have an occasional PDA. Men don't need this. Most find it awkward. Does this mean that the women who wants it doesn't respect who he is? No. It's just something she needs.
OK. Gone on too much now, thought I'd leave it off with a book recommendation:
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard E Harley Jr. Might give you more insight than me. Not even sure if the above is in there, but it might help. I did read it once and it made allot of sense.
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Hey Karma,
I'm sure many posts have already covered this but male sexuality is very visual. Most men use visual stimuli. The reason Porn is so prevalent in the modern man, is because it's much cheaper than strip clubs. This does not mean he doesn't love, honor and respect you - assuming that he's only looking?
Modern women are taught that porn is a "perversion". In other words a vile, twisted version of reality, but it's not. It is reality. Men fantasize, and not usually about their partners. This is normal and healthy behavior.
The anger, lies and frustration is a different matter. How this started is embarrassment. He needs this, and he knows it hurts you, so he's trying his best to keep it from you. You have a choice here. Keep checking his history, his phone, questioning him, or let it go. Or leave him. Three options. It could be that your mutual anger (both sides here - not your fault) has rendered the relationship impossible. Please note though, your next lover will most likely also watch porn regularly. If you live a long happy blissful life with this man, it isn't because he doesn't, it's because he's better at hiding it.
I just realized there's a fourth option, but it's a big emotional risk. You could replace some of his need for porn by becoming his visual stimulus. However, if he doesn't respond it will be humiliating. I don't recommend this option, this is something that needs to be introduced from the start of a relationship.
Please, take note, this is not your fault. It's just something he needs. Just like women need to be told that they are loved, and have an occasional PDA. Men don't need this. Most find it awkward. Does this mean that the women who wants it doesn't respect who he is? No. It's just something she needs.
OK. Gone on too much now, thought I'd leave it off with a book recommendation:
July 26, 2014 - 8:47amHis Needs, Her Needs by Willard E Harley Jr. Might give you more insight than me. Not even sure if the above is in there, but it might help. I did read it once and it made allot of sense.
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