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i lost my soul mate to this .....i cant explain the count less nights spent in A & E waiting for hours and in the end getting no answers. countless tests hospital visits to no avail the pain she went through physically and emotionally cant be explained in words she was on strongest painkillers a dr could suggest and the maximum amount of dose they could give her but it used to barely make a difference. i would be weeks before i could see her smiling or being cheeky larger than life bubbly character that she was. her condition drained us booth physically and mentally. and the helplessness of not being able to help her killed me every moment of the day till today. she started drinking vodka to cope with pain or atleast get drunk and knockout in the bed so she could have a peaceful night as she would be awake for days on end .for years her life was limited to that sofa vodka and pain took its toll and she became really depressed . she was put on anti depressants to cope with depression but they resulted in panic attacks and drs kept saying its just a phase and it will pass and one day she was found dead in the living room ....................... i cant even have words to explain how we went through every single day of our lives with my uni and work and her condition ......its been 16 months since she left me and all her pains in this world ...and i dont think i can write any further